Last night

[j9]

I need help. I feel trapped in a relationship for some reason I hate being in but I cant seem to leave and I don't know. why.

Last night I saw his phone and his "female best friend" texted him about his bday. I blew up because he has made a huge deal in the past that it isn't right that I have male friends. so I have slowly stopped speaking to them.

He went home -didn't understand my point of view. we were going to see an apartment today because things were going somewhat good. between last night and this morning he has called me evil b___ more than a dozen times. I am so hurt and upset I don't knw how to handle it or him.

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[jrharvey]

WOW I can completely relate. And at the same time you probably feel ashamed for blowing up but its because they have an incredible double standard.

I have acted the same in the past.

My GF use to constantly accuse me of talking to girls behind her back and deleting messages. She also wanted to eliminate any female friends I had.

When she started getting text from guys I did not know and I find out she is being buddy buddy with coworkers and classmates I blew up. What a double standard right? Then after telling her off about how she was controlling me to not have any female friends while she does she then started hiding it later. I found out several times she was talking to these guys and then deleting the messages. She was doing the exact thing she was accusing me off and I lost it. If you had seen me you would think I was the one with the mental illness but they really make you feel nuts.

Here is the deal... .

I felt so terrible because I let her cross my boundary. I knew it was wrong to let her control me but I let her do it. I did what she wanted. When I found out she did was doing the same thing I felt double bad. I felt bad for letting my boundaries be crossed. Then I felt bad that she screwed me over. Rule #1... .don't let them cross your boundary. Stick up for your rights and beliefs. If they screw up that's on them. Don't let them take away your friends and you will be happier for it.