Sleeping a lot.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hey everyone, I've been sleeping a lot lately. Like 10-12 hours a day for the past few weeks. It doesn't particularly freak me out and I'm still able to keep up with my responsibilities—although I do wish I could get up when my alarm goes off.

I know that this is generally understood as a sign of depression, but I don't feel sad or otherwise 'depressed'. Most of my days are pretty good and I'm starting to feel involved again in the things that I do. I still occasionally drift off, although these moments don't happen nearly as much as they did say, 2 months ago.

I was wondering if anyone could identify. How did you approach this?

[valet]

Hey everyone, I've been sleeping a lot lately. Like 10-12 hours a day for the past few weeks. It doesn't particularly freak me out and I'm still able to keep up with my responsibilities—although I do wish I could get up when my alarm goes off.

I know that this is generally understood as a sign of depression, but I don't feel sad or otherwise 'depressed'. Most of my days are pretty good and I'm starting to feel involved again in the things that I do. I still occasionally drift off, although these moments don't happen nearly as much as they did say, 2 months ago.

I was wondering if anyone could identify. How did you approach this?

[drained1996]

Valet,

I can identify... .some form of aerobic exercise 5 days a week (30 minutes a day should suffice) helps.  It's almost like natural anti-depressants, it'll take 3-4 weeks to fully kick in but it has been proven to work! 
I also changed my sleep pattern... .typically I was a night owl and slept fairly late.  I began to get up significantly earlier in the morning and in short order I was awake before my alarm rang.  I've also experienced that hitting that darn snooze button made me feel less rested than anytime I would just get up at the original alarm. 
Combining exercise and waking up much earlier helped me a lot, and my 10-12 hours of sleeping turned into 7-8.  Oh yeah, and as an added bonus, the extra time in the mornings I've found to be very nice!  Hope this helps!

[valet]

Thanks for the reply, drained.

I exercise quite a bit in general. Most of it is just incidental stuff, like biking to work or taking a walk because I enjoy it.

I have become quite the night owl though. I'm pretty happy for the most part, so maybe I'll just have to wait this out and see how things progress. I have a feeling that my body will normalize in time and I'll be awake for more of a daytime kind of regiment. I'm just a bit nervous that I'm overlooking something.

[woundedPhoenix]

I can identify, and it is actually a good thing. That your mind and body finally surrender to the healing that is needed, and in a way have let go of the chronic fight or flight response that they probably were trapped in.

Another thing i noticed about sleeping: I wasn't able to dream for the past year, or didn't remember any of it, the last few weeks the dreaming suddenly is starting to come back.

[Recovering480]

I'd rather be sleeping than staying up all night obsessing over something she said or did.  I think it's a good thing. It's your body telling you that needs to heal and stop thinking. It'll come together.

[valet]

I can identify, and it is actually a good thing. That your mind and body finally surrender to the healing that is needed, and in a way have let go of the chronic fight or flight response that they probably were trapped in.

Another thing i noticed about sleeping: I wasn't able to dream for the past year, or didn't remember any of it, the last few weeks the dreaming suddenly is starting to come back.

The bolded part has been absolutely true for me as well.  I used to dream so much and really enjoy sleep because of my dreams, and for a while I just wasn't remembering/having them.

In the past month, however, I've remembered my dreams pretty vividly on at least 2 different occasions, and it was really nice to have those experiences again.

There is probably something to the fight/flight response idea too. I don't know if it is as simple as that, but definitely a worthwhile thought to explore. I'll keep it in mind.

[Sunfl0wer]

My first thought: Maybe get some blood work done?  Hormonal changes, or potassium deficiency, iron, etc.  Many things can cause our bodies to require more rest than usual.

I know that this is generally understood as a sign of depression, but I don't feel sad or otherwise 'depressed'.

My other thought is many years ago, my T told me she thought my BF was depressed.  (He was also her client) I was shocked, cause he is so energetic, and lively, gregarious type, that no way he could be!  She explained than men often do not get easily diagnosed with depression cause they sometimes don't show the classic sad like symptoms.  She noted BF was irritable, cranky trouble focusing and such, as his front for sad feelings he was burying, so yea, I had no idea depression can look like an irritable person with worsening ADHD like issues.  (Even tho u didn't say you are cranky, just thought I'd mention anyways)

[half-life]

It does not sound concerning at all. You sound more energetic than lethargic. You've been enjoying your days and have not complained about any issues. Sleeping and resting are good things. People should do that more.

Sleeping too little are a much bigger issue. I used to sleep like a baby. Now my life has become very stressful. I usually get only 6-7 hours of sleep. Sometimes I woke up at night and was preoccupied with the issues with my family and could not fall back to sleep. This has not happened to me before.

[lovenature]

Hey valet

Just go with it; it takes what it takes, the best way to fight something is not to fight it.
If you are doing OK then the rest is only beneficial.
One day at a time!

[Lucky Jim]

Hey valet, From what I have read, it's impossible to oversleep, because your body knows how much sleep it needs, so I echo lovenature and would suggest that you need the rest.  We mammals like to hibernate in winter!

LuckyJim

[Recovering480]

I sleep more now than I used to. I think it's good considering I was spending far too many night arguing with her or waiting for a response to a text because she alluded to it "being over".

I'm also exercising far more than I used to. And not drinking as much. I dont think, for me, it's a sign of depression. My body is just telling me to heal/rest.

[valet]

A brief update: I'm giving my body as much rest as I can and trying not to be hard on myself about oversleeping in the morning as long as the 'important' tasks got done and I am able to honor my responsibilities. It's done me a lot of good. I feel just about 'normal' as I remember it being. What has really emerged from this is a lot of sadness and anger in the loose moments of my days—the more that I think about it, the more that I realize I never healed fully from my BPD relationship. Changing that now.

I respect these feelings (almost enjoy having them to some extent, because it is nice to feel that spectrum again) and generally don't act on them. This isn't a fit all solution, but NC was really the only way I could begin to break that enmeshment up. I'm glad that I decided to look out for myself and take how my ex was behaving a bit more seriously. With more perspective I've been able to realize that she isn't getting better, and isn't trying to. I thought she was, but therapy for her was more about short term comfort and I don't think she lasted longer than a few months (that is, if she ever went at all in the first place... .which I'm beginning to doubt quite a bit  .

I feel pretty good in general. I have a few more things to get done with school for the semester... .and then I can get to work on compiling/writing the rest of my thesis. Pretty exciting stuff! Just need to power through some of the muck first.

Thanks for the support, everyone.

[Lucky Jim]

What has really emerged from this is a lot of sadness and anger in the loose moments of my days—the more that I think about it, the more that I realize I never healed fully from my BPD relationship. Changing that now

Hey valet, Acknowledging your sadness and anger is a sign of self-awareness, which I view as a positive development.  From time to time, try sitting with your feelings and just observe, without the need to do anything.  I pretended a lot in my marriage to my BPDxW.  Getting back in touch w/those submerged feelings is an important part of my healing, which I view as a journey towards authenticity!

LuckyJim

[Sunfl0wer]

Hey, just happened to be reading something... .
I had no idea that a symptom of PTSD is sleepiness, but makes sense.
I suppose I was really only familiar with the hyperarousal symptoms, myself.

Symptoms of posttraumatic hypoarousal include the following:
• Emotional numbness
• Physical numbness, inability to feel pain
• Blank mind, unable to think or speak
• Profound detachment
• Inability to move or respond
• Extreme drowsiness and even temporary loss of consciousness

Not saying it is for you, but just sharing anyways.

[valet]

Hey sunflower, it was already nearly a forgone conclusion for me that this is PTSD related.

A lot of my struggle has been accepting that circumstance, and also accepting that it takes time to heal from. I'm not so demanding of immediate results anymore. I give myself a free pass more often than not with this stuff these days. In the past I'd minimize and push myself too hard. It made the problem worse. I feel like I'm taking a better approach now.

I definitely experienced a long period of extreme emotional numbness. I'd say I've recovered from that symptom in particular for the most part. Now that I can feel, however, I am just way more tired. My brain is making up for lost time, I'd say, and now that's it's able to extend itself a bit further my whole body is zapped more or less!

One thing at a time, eh?  

[Sunfl0wer]

A lot of my struggle has been accepting that circumstance, and also accepting that it takes time to heal from. I'm not so demanding of immediate results anymore. I give myself a free pass more often than not with this stuff these days.