Hello

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hello everyone,

I have struggled with my relationship with my mother all of my life, because she has BPD. As many of you may understand my childhood was a living hell. I have PTSD and other related issues because of my childhood. At the age of 61, I am finally dealing with this, with the guidance of a counselor. I am also trying to have a healthy relationship with my mother who really needs me because her health is failing. She is now 86 years old. Her BPD is not as strong as it used to be, however, my memories bring back the bad feelings. When she does the smallest BPD behavior, I cringe, and my emotions tend to take control. I am struggling with this, but feel better than I ever have. Life is getting better because I am finally facing this problem, instead of trying to wall it up somewhere in my mind (which never did work well).

   

[K9 Sadie]

Hello everyone,

I have struggled with my relationship with my mother all of my life, because she has BPD. As many of you may understand my childhood was a living hell. I have PTSD and other related issues because of my childhood. At the age of 61, I am finally dealing with this, with the guidance of a counselor. I am also trying to have a healthy relationship with my mother who really needs me because her health is failing. She is now 86 years old. Her BPD is not as strong as it used to be, however, my memories bring back the bad feelings. When she does the smallest BPD behavior, I cringe, and my emotions tend to take control. I am struggling with this, but feel better than I ever have. Life is getting better because I am finally facing this problem, instead of trying to wall it up somewhere in my mind (which never did work well).

   

[drained1996]

Hello K9 Sadie and welcome to the family.  I think we may be walking in the same shoes here as I too am dealing with healing from a lifetime unhealthy relationship with my own mother.  She too is of failing health (dementia) and my father passed last year.  Though not the easiest of things to deal with, I've found the journey healing, and it's helping me become a better person with the more I learn and understand. 
To the right of this page you will note some lessons and a survivors guide.  I think you may find these helpful in your journey.  At the top of the page you will find the tools section... .some very good guidance there as well.  
It's great to see that you have taken a step of self improvement and healing by going to a therapist.  
One thing many of us have learned is that we cannot change them, but we can change how we react/communicate with them... .and that's something we control.  
I also found that reading others stories, and subsequently reading the responses on their threads to be very helpful.  It will also show you are not alone in your struggles.  Here you will find understanding, compassion and some guidance through shared experiences.  We look forward to hearing how things progress!  Feel free to post anything anytime... we are here  

[heartandwhole]

Hi K9 Sadie,

I'd like to join     drained1996 and welcome you to the site. I admire your courage and strength to deal with this issue after going through so much with your mother. That is a big challenge, and it is so understandable that your feelings take over sometimes.

I just want to let you know that there really is hope for things to get better. You've found a great place for support, and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

heartandwhole