my partner has BPD every few weeks i find out she is using extra meds or other drugs and everytime she says she is sorry and is cleaning herself up and i get my partner back for a week then i start seeing the signs again untill she slips up and i catch her in the act again and around we go again we have been going around and around like this for over 10 years am i just wishing or will it ever get better
have you talked about rehab? a 28-90 day program? I dont have BPD, but have suffered from substance issues for the last 4 years. I could quit for two weeks, some times a month, but inevitably something would trigger me and i slid right back.
it wasnt until i went to a 28 day inpatient program that i had the strength to stay stopped. these programs remove you from all the circumstances (aka triggers) and will even help balance a medication regime for someone with a co-occuring mental illness (practically all of us addicts, one way or another)- which is great because sometimes medications can heighten cravings or generally arent condusive to avoiding substance abuse. I had a shrink diagnose me with bipolar a couple years ago, when i was in the height of substance abuse. The medications I got took me out of my comfort zone and honestly made me want to be f-ed up all the time. After a program, I'm off all psych meds... .turns out what looked like bipolar highs and lows was really just a psychaitrist seeing the roller coaster mentality that comes with abusing drugs... .i was either high on drugs, or in withdrawal... .looked a lot like mild bipolar-ism.
anyhow, not saying your SO will come out of a program cured of BPD or not need meds ever again. The point is these programs give you a chance to escape the people/places/things associated with using and break the cycle. After you finish, a 12 step program is also a must. I'd reccomend AA, even if she doesnt abuse alcohol, it welcomes people with all manner of addictions and is usually the most organized of the 12 step programs.
what 12 step programs teach is that putting down the bottle/drug is only 10% of the battle, its about changing your entire approach to life. They offer a nurturing, supportive environment to begin the work of undoing years of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Also, the addict will meet like minded people who become a sober friend network- also super important... .drug users often fly together, and it will be impossible to get better if your SO is hanging out with people using in front of her.
just food for thought. I went to one and it was fantastic. Its a gift, not a punishment. and many are covered by insurance with a 1k copay... .very reasonable considering the treatment and accomadations at a lot of these places.
some people will say an Outpatient drug program (5 days a week for -3-5 hours a day) is enough but really, nothing can compare to inpatient. in outpatient, your still surrounded by all the same triggers and rituals and it doesnt provide a great enviorment for recovery. Also, many states will crowd outpatient programs with people from drug court, who dont want to get better, but are there to avoid jail. I went to one before i did rehab and 90% of the attendees were there to get a paper signed, and were otherwise silent. Group therapy only works when a group is actually participating. AA is packed with people there by their own choice, and often there are several people there with 10+ years sobriety, who want to help newcomers. You wont find that in an outpatient. Rehab+12 steps is really the best shot.
