Award for worst detacher 2016

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I think I would totally win it this year.

Maybe we should have subcategories. And we could self-nominate.

Here are some subcategories:

Worst detacher: Facebook checker category

Worst detacher: Recycler category

Worst detacher: Texter category

Worst detacher: Holiday contacter category

Worst detacher: Ruminator category

Worst detacher: My life sucks and hers/his is great category

Can you think of others?

[kc sunshine]

I think I would totally win it this year.

Maybe we should have subcategories. And we could self-nominate.

Here are some subcategories:

Worst detacher: Facebook checker category

Worst detacher: Recycler category

Worst detacher: Texter category

Worst detacher: Holiday contacter category

Worst detacher: Ruminator category

Worst detacher: My life sucks and hers/his is great category

Can you think of others?

[Tobiasfunke]

Ha effing great. You are not alone. I don't have any social media so I don't qualify for those catagories. But I'm the only person in this packed efing bar on bpdfamily.com so that's got to get me a participation ribbon. Right?

[Duped 1]

Unfortunately i think I would give you a run for your money here KC. NC for about 2.5 mos and she had her kids contact me and threaten to call the cops after I got drunk twice and lashed out at her. This after one week she said we would be together forever. A few days later we are done forever but she won't be dating for the longest time because no one could ever compare to me and she needed to heal and self reflect followed by being w my replacement a couple days later. I am a mess. I can honestly say these have been the worst days of my life. I just cant comprehend the lack of humanity.

[Larmoyant]

I would like to nominate myself for the:

Worst detacher: I've moved over to the Conflicted/Undecided Board category
Worst detacher: I'm looking at ways to improve my communication with BPD category
Worst detacher: Don't listen to your therapist category

[FallBack!Monster]

I think I would totally win it this year.

Maybe we should have subcategories. And we could self-nominate.

Here are some subcategories:

Worst detacher: Facebook checker category

Worst detacher: Recycler category

Worst detacher: Texter category

Worst detacher: Holiday contacter category

Worst detacher: Ruminator category

Worst detacher: My life sucks and hers/his is great category

Can you think of others?

Worst detacher:  Most obvious stalker award goes to my ex.

From
The Ruminator
with love

[FallBack!Monster]

I would like to nominate myself for the:

Worst detacher: I've moved over to the Conflicted/Undecided Board category
Worst detacher: I'm looking at ways to improve my communication with BPD category
Worst detacher: Don't listen to your therapist category

Dont say that about yourself. You're smart and strong.  You're just dealing with some stuff right now. Right Larmoyant... .btw, my little brother"s name is Lammont ayante. The first time I saw your name I thought it was my little brother. 

[beggarsblanket]

. I have a good shot at Ruminator. I practice every chance I get.

I also suggest Inventive Grief-Avoider.

[kc sunshine]

hahaha, this made me laugh so hard!

I could add a sub-sub category to your therapist category:

Worst detacher: Blame your therapist for your breakup category (since she recommended packing my bags and running!)

I would like to nominate myself for the:

Worst detacher: I've moved over to the Conflicted/Undecided Board category
Worst detacher: I'm looking at ways to improve my communication with BPD category
Worst detacher: Don't listen to your therapist category

[kc sunshine]

More than a participation ribbon, you get to throw your hat in for the prize in a whole category:

Worst detacher: Checking bpdfamily.com at the bar

And that's fantastic that you don't have any social media, even if it does disqualify you from several prestigious worst detacher categories.

Ha effing great. You are not alone. I don't have any social media so I don't qualify for those catagories. But I'm the only person in this packed efing bar on bpdfamily.com so that's got to get me a participation ribbon. Right?

[kc sunshine]

Omg, duped-- the worst.

mine said to me she was breaking up with me because she didn't want to be in a committed relationship. Two weeks later (at most, probably sooner) she was seriously dating my replacement and six weeks later, they moved in together

Unfortunately i think I would give you a run for your money here KC. NC for about 2.5 mos and she had her kids contact me and threaten to call the cops after I got drunk twice and lashed out at her. This after one week she said we would be together forever. A few days later we are done forever but she won't be dating for the longest time because no one could ever compare to me and she needed to heal and self reflect followed by being w my replacement a couple days later. I am a mess. I can honestly say these have been the worst days of my life. I just cant comprehend the lack of humanity.

[Lifewriter16]

I love this.

I'd like to nominate myself for:

Worst Detacher - Still scouring the streets for sight of my ex and then hiding from him if I see him award.

Worst Detacher - Still prone to wearing rose-tinted spectacles when I think about him award.

Worst Detacher - Still posting on BPD Family because it's the only connection I have with either of my BPD/NPD exes award.

LWx

[kc sunshine]

hahaha, yes to all three of these!

I love this.
I'd like to nominate myself for:

Worst Detacher - Still scouring the streets for sight of my ex and then hiding from him if I see him award.

Worst Detacher - Still prone to wearing rose-tinted spectacles when I think about him award.

Worst Detacher - Still posting on BPD Family because it's the only connection I have with either of my BPD/NPD exes award.

LWx

[joeramabeme]

kc - funny post! 

I was raking leaves in front of house yesterday, exact car as hers started to come in view traveling towards my driveway.  I intentionally did not look as the car went by, hoped that it was her and she noticed my not noticing.  LOL!  Is that detaching?

[lovenature]

My life sucks and hers/his is great category

Hey kc, you know what happens once idealization is over, and the cycle ALWAYS repeats.

Stay total NC, don't aspire to be just another one of her orbiters/options. Once you are out long enough you will be able to see clearly enough to not want to EVER go back. It is extremely painful when we learn about why we want to be with someone who doesn't treat us right, but the only way to a better future.

[fromheeltoheal]

Funny thread kc.  Being able to laugh at ourselves and the situation is a good thing, and really, shows detachment.  Look at stage 2 of detaching over there ---------->
where we can be present with the emotions but also be aside them, looking at them from a detached place.  That's what we're doing here, and I'll get out of the way now and leave you to it.  I also look forward to the Best Detacher awards!

[KarmasReal]

Interesting thread. I think I can nominate myself sadly. It's funny we know the truth behind everything yet we still can't accept it. We all know we could never have healthy relationships with these people. I've found that out over two years and multiple break ups. Even when it's good it's really not because you can't trust them, you have to maintain walking on egg shells, you know deep down whatever loving words they say they don't really love who you are they love how you can make them feel, that's why long term relationships are doomed with them. However I'm one week into my fourth or so break up and I'm still a terrible detacher! I should know better!

Worst detacher:checking Facebook, Instagram, at least 20 times a day
Worst detacher: talking about her to friends and family non stop
Worst detacher: trying to text and see her over leftover items I really don't need
Worst detacher: driving by her house to see if she's home
Worst detacher: postin on BPD family while I'm drinking or going out for fun
Worst detacher: comparing every girl I meet to her
Worst detacher: going over everything in my head a million times a day
Worst detacher: still having some 1 percent hope it could be different

I guess we need to continue working on healing ourselves huh guy! Haha
Glad we can have a little levity during all of this pain and heartbreak though!

[BlueLime]

I'd like to nominate myself for Worst detacher: Texted him that he might want to research BPD, before I read that this is one of the worst things to do. Ack.

Also, I keep blocking and unblocking him on Facebook so I can stalk him. Ack.

[lovenature]

I keep blocking and unblocking him on Facebook

Looking at "fakebook" is one of the worst things you can do when trying to detach, many members have said how much it has set them back.

[kc sunshine]

Hahaha, that has happened to me so many times-- that I did something and then read later that is the worst thing to do. How do you block and unblock him without defriending him (and consequentially having to humiliatingly friend him again... .that happened to me once, yup. Worst detacher high five).

I'd like to nominate myself for Worst detacher: Texted him that he might want to research BPD, before I read that this is one of the worst things to do. Ack.

Also, I keep blocking and unblocking him on Facebook so I can stalk him. Ack.

[kc sunshine]

Thanks dear FHTH, you are my hero of detachment! I've even gone back and read your early posts to see that it can be done-- that you could move from a rough place to such a place of acceptance and understanding.

Okay, this aren't really award-worthy, but maybe I can get stick-on stars for these little things:

I didn't check her facebook last night, although I really wanted to!
When I checked this morning and felt my stomach drop a bit, I noted the feeling and vowed to remember it. I immediately turned to bpdfamily and read some stuff to remember why I'm not still in the relationship. 
I haven't been so plagued with thoughts of her today.
I saw friends and attended to my own life a bit more today.
Since this morning I haven't checked her facebook.

Funny thread kc.  Being able to laugh at ourselves and the situation is a good thing, and really, shows detachment.  Look at stage 2 of detaching over there ---------->
where we can be present with the emotions but also be aside them, looking at them from a detached place.  That's what we're doing here, and I'll get out of the way now and leave you to it.  I also look forward to the Best Detacher awards!

[kc sunshine]

How about the rest of you in the Bad Detachers Club-- any little star-sticker worthy things to mention?
 

[BlueLime]

Hahaha, that has happened to me so many times-- that I did something and then read later that is the worst thing to do. How do you block and unblock him without defriending him (and consequentially having to humiliatingly friend him again... .that happened to me once, yup. Worst detacher high five).

 You can't! So I don't really friend him again, but luckily from my non-detached messed up self, he posts passive aggressive complaints about me publicly. So I can easily go and read them as long as I have unblocked him first. Yes I know this is very very bad for me. :-(

[BlueLime]

You can't! So I don't really friend him again, but luckily from my non-detached messed up self, he posts passive aggressive complaints about me publicly. So I can easily go and read them as long as I have unblocked him first. Yes I know this is very very bad for me. :-(

You can't block and not unfriend a person. Yes, I tried. So the only way to do it is really block them, and then accept that you're not allowed to become their facebook friend again.

I had to block my ex, because otherwise I kept going to his profile to see if he'd made any public posts about me. This way it tells me he doesn't even exist. Then I had to block him from my dog's facebook account too, to get rid of the temptation to stalk him from there. Argh.

[michel71]

I think I would totally win it this year.

Maybe we should have subcategories. And we could self-nominate.

Here are some subcategories:

Worst detacher: Facebook checker category

Worst detacher: Recycler category


GREAT POST!

Worst detacher: Texter category

Worst detacher: Holiday contacter category

Worst detacher: Ruminator category

Worst detacher: My life sucks and hers/his is great category

Can you think of others?

[michel71]

 

WORST DETACHER: " I love you" texts

[kc sunshine]

Move over Oscars, I'm bumping this thread up so we can decide on the Worst Detacher Awards for 2016! Not to brag too much, but I'm sure to sweep the awards. Anyone else want to self-nominate?

[Ragnar1982]

Worst detacher: I already left you, but let me tell you again how awful you are

Worst detacher: how many days of NC before I need to remind her I'm alive?

These are all funny. This is a fun post