But actually had about 1 hour of not worrying and feeling calm ealier today, gave me some hope
And the more you force yourself to do that... .the easier it becomes... .and the longer it lasts. I'm not going to tell you a story and say it's easy. But you can see yourself, it does work... .no matter the speed... .it's moving forward.
The other option is to bleed again. I'd chose to mend my wounds, stop the bleeding, let them heal and grow stronger... .thus moving forward. Try not to peel the scab and let the infection return! We're all here for you!