Hi alki5000,
So sorry you're having to deal with these tough circumstances in your life. Your story sounds so similar to many you will run across here... .it's helpful to know you are not alone in your struggles. Your tale speaks of communication and boundary issues which is super common in when traits of a personality disorder are involved. One thing many here have learned is that we cannot change them, but we can change how we react to and communicate with them. To the right of this page you will see some tools and lessons. Combining a working understanding of the illness with some helpful communication techniques has been helpful for some in improving their circumstances.
Have you sought any guidance from a therapist? I know I found a professional to be of great help in my own process.
Another thing I found was that sharing for me was very therapeutic, and... .the more I shared the more I got in return. Feel free to post anything you are feeling, or any questions you may have. We are here!