Hello burnerin,
I am too, partly because of the role I was forced into as a child and partly because it's just my nature to want others to be happy. It gets to be extreme when we start sacrificing way too much to do that though and it's easy to in a situation with a BPD.
In my husband's case, he was king of push and pull. He didn't want me around if I was loving, but if I was unavailable or doing my own thing and didn't need him he became needy until I would be like "oh, he does love me and want me around" and then when I would try to be around him or do more for him he would reject me again. It was a crazy cycle within other crazy cycles and even when I was aware of it I would sit back and wonder if there was any possible way I could make this work?
He wanted me to leave him alone but was jealous and scared that I could do just fine on my own. I don't think anything I had done would have made it work. I had seven years of trying everything I could. It all comes down to it was just me, and he did nothing. I don't want to be with someone who isn't going to work with me but purposely work against me. I feel you, thanks for posting. =)
