Therapy twice a week?

[GrowThroughIt]

Hi All! 

I just wanted some advice re. my committing myself to therapy.

I have an opportunity to go for psychotherapy twice a week (if I commit to 2 years) at a much cheaper rate than if I went once a week.

The above would be a perfect option for me, however, I have been to 4 counselling sessions, and I find the sessions and aftermath quite emotionally taxing. 

I want to do the counselling twice a week (cheaper and I think it may make my recovery more smooth/quicker?), work full time and do my degree part time.  However, as I said, I found even once a week quite taxing, so I wonder how an Earth I could manage twice a week?  I have a lot to speak about as I’ve never really had a chance to speak so openly and candidly about myself, FOO and other issues.  I’m quite sure things will have to get “worse” before they get better!

From experience, could any members on here advice a course of action?  I worry that going twice a week will drain me, and then my grades will suffer.  I work full time and study for a degree part time, although my work is not strenuous, the degree certainly is!

Thank you for your help!

GTI

[statsattack]

I am a victim of someone with BPD and here is what I would say for supporters/victims

Seeing it twice is your best option. What I am struggling with is moving on with all my BPD scars. How can I potray confidence around woman if someone I loved and cared about claims I would hurt her? That thought isn't leaving my head or all the other stuff she did to traumatize me.

The world isn't stopping or slowing down for us so might as well do what you can to get up to speed.

[steelwork]

It is a commitment of time and emotional effort, and no question that twice a week is more of a commitment--but I think you might find it's less draining in some ways to meet more often.

In my experience, there's a different quality to therapy once it becomes more frequent. You will spend less time getting back up to speed, you will feel more forward momentum in the discussions and less retreading, and you will feel less urgency to "get to the core of it" every session. There's less of a sense of wringing the most out of each moment.

[valet]

If you know you can handle all of that, plus going to therapy, then go ahead and do it. If it turns it to be too much, you'll have to find another solution. Could you reduce hours at work? Or juggle your class schedule to be a little more friendly to everything else you're responsible for? It depends on your priorities and what is most important to you.

I was in a similar situation pretty much up until this past week (working 4-5 days a week, finishing up a degree). Midway through the semester something felt way off. I was overloading myself, and it really sent me into kind of a tailspin. I had to make some adjustments, so I cut some days off my work schedule to focus more on school, and stopped worrying about reading every last bit of course material. It worked out for me as well as it could have, I think. I reduced a lot of stress, and found that when I just let myself browse the assignments first, I got a lot more interested in the subject material and enjoyed myself a lot more.

So do what you can and adjust from there. Therapy, work, and school are important. But it may end up being the case that something has to give... .you just need to be willing to come to a solution.

[Whatwasthat]

I agree with steelwork. I think twice a week could end up being less stressful than a single weekly session. My experience is that more frequent therapy makes you feel more supported and that it's a blessing not to have to wait so long for the next session. It'll probably allow you to relax into the process.

[Grey Kitty]

I have an opportunity to go for psychotherapy twice a week (if I commit to 2 years) at a much cheaper rate than if I went once a week.

That sounds a bit like a high pressure sales technique, and such things always sit badly with me. If you have to commit NOW, or the cheaper rate deal will go away, it is a real   to me.

I'm kinda suspicious of therapy that takes years. I think that a good therapist should be able to give you at least SOME significant results in weeks or at worst months. Even if there is a couple years of work ahead of you.

The above would be a perfect option for me, however, I have been to 4 counselling sessions, and I find the sessions and aftermath quite emotionally taxing.

Can you describe a bit more detail regarding what is taxing about it? Or what else good (or bad) you are getting from it?

Some therapists are a lot better and more effective than others. Even good ones may not be a good match for you--either because you need a different variety of treatment than they provide, or simply because you and they don't have the right chemistry, and it is hard for you to open up and trust them.

Is this the only therapist you have talked to?

[Sunfl0wer]

My thoughts upon first reading were similar to GK.  
In my experience, therapy is a bit of an evolving and changing process.  Sometimes I may need weekly, biweekly, or monthly or so.  To have a therapeutic frequency that is decided monetarily, is a but off putting to me.  

Having said that, I certainly feel there could be some valid situations this could be ok.

I am a bit curious why?  Is this a students are learning via you/ college psych class rate and they are doing some research gathering or something similar?

Also, would depend on the modalities to me.

I have often learned all I can from a specific therapist or modality and need something different to continue growth.  How the heck I could box myself in to a certain clinician and modality set for two yrs, idk, possible, but a bit odd to me.

I'd certainly want to know the consequences if I backed out after say 8 months, due to moving, illness, burn out, etc.  Will they charge you more or such?

Also, I go weekly, quite frankly, I was feeling a bit drained and well, let him know I wasn't wanting to do the trauma work for that day. It went well. We instead focused on things to help me tolerate stress better.  Did some new breathing stuff that was different, also did some talk about incorporating yoga and such.  So ever session doesn't need to be intense.  Just speak up and do some self care like asking what self care stuff to do to increase tolerance.

[Panda39]

Along the lines of GrayKitty and Sunflower... .

Who says you'll need therapy for 2 years?  If you decide to stop earlier either because you want to or you find it no longer beneficial are you penalized?

Panda39

[steelwork]

It does not sound like a high-pressure sales technique to me. It sounds similar to the arrangement I have, which is that the place provides weekly therapy at a reasonable sliding-scale fee, which for me would be $50, or another alternative, which is in my case 3x weekly at $10 a session. The reason it's so much cheaper is that they are a training institute, and this is a post-doctoral training program in psychoanalysis. It's the same as the standard psychodynamic psychotherapy, but with more of a commitment from the patient. It's hard to get patients to commit to that, so they offer it at a very low fee. Nothing nefarious there. I don't know if that is the situation with the OP, but it sounds like it.

As for the two-year commitment: again, standard, as far as I know, and it's not a contract--you aren't penalized for quitting. It's simply an understanding that you're committed to a longer process.

Suspicion of longer-term therapy is something else again. There are arguments for shorter-term, things like CBT, that are compelling for some, depending on their goals. Efficacy for problems such as depression is uncertain. Some say CBT is effective, but then studies have shown also that the positive effects "wear off". Also, some people might be interested in digging deeper for a variety of reasons.

[GrowThroughIt]

Thank you for the replies everyone!

Just to clarify, the arrangement is similar to SteelWork's, in the that, those undertaking the session, are experienced trainees in advance stages of their training.

I have to go for an initial consultation to see what would best suit me.  They may decide that I need to see someone who has completed their training, and therefore not eligible for a low fee.



Grey Kitty
I find the talking of things that I have kept bottled up for years, taxing.  I have not had a chance to express myself in such a way to another human being!  When I bring up all the problems, I feel like, "That's a lot of problems!  How on Earth can I work through all this?  I don't even deserve to work through all this!" but I do go away feeling as if I am making progress by taking these steps in life.  Steps which will hopefully benefit me. This is the only therapist I have spoken to... .how do you know that?  Great intuition!

Valet
Unfortunately, I would not be able to reduce my hours at work!  I think I'll have to see how it goes, and as you said, if it gets too much, I would have to make adjustments.  Thanks for the advice!

Panda39 & Sunfl0wer
I am not sure if there is a penalty for leaving early, I would have to check if I do end up going for this!  The previous therapist (after saying she could not commit to long term therapy) told me that I would (after I spoke about myself, family etc) need about 2-3 years.

steelwork
I believe you are right in that having two sessions a week would add more depth and richness to the sessions.  The sessions I have been to, I was catching up etc and it did not feel as if much forward headway was being made.  I think, in my current state, I need about 2 sessions a week, just to keep me on track!


Once again, thanks for all the replies!  I am so glad, there are people on here who can give such great and sincere advice! 

[Grey Kitty]

I find the talking of things that I have kept bottled up for years, taxing.  I have not had a chance to express myself in such a way to another human being!  When I bring up all the problems, I feel like, "That's a lot of problems!  How on Earth can I work through all this?  I don't even deserve to work through all this!" but I do go away feeling as if I am making progress by taking these steps in life.  Steps which will hopefully benefit me.

Yeah, I can see how doing this kind of thing for the first time would be really hard for you. It probably should get easier as you get used to it, as you get past some of the initial parts, and also I hope your therapist will help you find tools to cope.

This is the only therapist I have spoken to... .how do you know that?  Great intuition!

Honestly, I had no idea. I asked because I figured if you had seen one (or more) before, you would have a baseline to evaluate this one, and if this was your first experience you might have more trouble knowing what to look for in a good therapist.

I saw six couples therapists with my wife over the years. Four were good, but we moved, and couldn't see them again when we needed to go back.

One triggered my wife personally in the first session... .her appearance set my wife off; She wasn't doing anything wrong or anything a good therapist should have known better than to do. While she might have been good, the trust required for this to be productive obviously wasn't there, so we didn't see her again to better evaluate.

One was "nice" but my wife and I both decided after one session that he wouldn't challenge us, and it would be a waste of our time and money, or at least 95% a waste. Note... .months later, a friend who was now divorced confirmed that she and her ex had spent quite a few more sessions with this guy and had nothing to show for it. And the same friend also found the one we picked next to be very good, also confirming our assessment.

One thing I'd look for in therapy that you might not be thinking of:

1. Early on, they should explain (in general) what the treatment plan or therapy goals are, or better yet, discuss them with you and help you set the goals yourself... .and also explain what sort of progress you should be seeing and experiencing. Not just how long it can be expected to take, but that is part of it for sure.

2. Hopefully you are experiencing just that... .and if not, you should get a reasonable explanation around what is happening instead.

Can you share with us what you got along these lines? And if not, I recommend you bring it up at a therapy session soon... .and then share it with us.

[GrowThroughIt]

One thing I'd look for in therapy that you might not be thinking of:

1. Early on, they should explain (in general) what the treatment plan or therapy goals are, or better yet, discuss them with you and help you set the goals yourself... .and also explain what sort of progress you should be seeing and experiencing. Not just how long it can be expected to take, but that is part of it for sure.

2. Hopefully you are experiencing just that... .and if not, you should get a reasonable explanation around what is happening instead.

Can you share with us what you got along these lines? And if not, I recommend you bring it up at a therapy session soon... .and then share it with us.

Thanks for the reply.

I had 5 free sessions via work.  I attended 4 of these sessions.

These sessions via work are mainly there to support someone on a short term basis.  You then have an option to extend these sessions by paying for it yourself.

My therapist was open with me and told me that I would need long term therapy, and this was something she could not provide.  As I said, at first I took it personally.  She did however point me into the direction of foundations who provide psychotherapy and work via strict guidelines.  I'm now looking for such a therapist.

It's not easy!  They have you fill out quite an extensive questionnaire which I have almost finished!