How to maintain A Healthy relationship w someone w BPD

[1Exhausted1]

Greetings!

My husband has many BPD characteristics. He's been in and out of therapy his whole life, and i believe he has been misdiagnosed.
For those who are in a relationship with someone with BPD, how do you do it well?  How do you handle and cope with the episodes of nasty comments and misperceived reality?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

My husband has many BPD characteristics. He's been in and out of therapy his whole life, and i believe he has been misdiagnosed.

Welcome 1Exhausted1: 
I'm sorry to hear your husband has BPD characteristics. 

My husband has many BPD characteristics. He's been in and out of therapy his whole life, and i believe he has been misdiagnosed.

What has he been diagnosed with in the past? 

The link below will take you to an article on "Compassion Fatigue".  You might find that helpful.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=140226.0

Are you doing anything to take care of yourself?  Do you have supportive family or friends?

There are a lot of good links to the right of this post.  That can be a good place to start in your learning process.

[oshinko maki]

It may help to look at your subject line: How to maintain "A Healthy relationship".
Only you yourself can maintain healthy ways to relate to your spouse.
You are not responsible for how your spouse relates and can have only limited if any impact on that.
So in my case at least I just try to be healthy or mature in how I relate to my spouse and not expect any mutual relationship.
I do not believe that it is possible for a person with BPD (at least my wife) to have a healthy romantic relationship, meaning a romantic relationship where both people are relating to each other in a healthy way, because they cannot ever or only rarely relate in a healthy way.