Hello world

[Done4]

Hi,

Thanks to you all for coming together and building this community.

I'm really here about my ex gf who has not actually been diagnosed, but appears to have some of the similar symptoms to folks that have been diagnosed with a pd.   

I'd really like to just read others posts and try to find some closure.

This relationship over 4 yrs has had many breakups/reconciliations but this summer she had a fairly aggressive meltdown that started in the middle of a bar, and ended with her becoming physically violent back at the hotel room.  I still have no idea what has happened that night that caused her to act that way.  We've spoken since and she's never answered why.

We've 'hooked up' for a few dates, but asking if she'd like to continue the relationship ends with a no.

She works where I do (but not with me) and at the xmas party I asked why she called me to hook up then decided not to continue the relationship and the answer was that she didn't know.  Of course, that was a phone call after the xmas party.  During the xmas party, she just walked away and treated me like I was her enemy.  Seems quite unstable.  I even asked why she called me after the party if she was going to treat me like that during the party.

Who knows, i'd just like some understanding, although from what I read i'll probably never get it.

Thanks for having me.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Done4



I'm sorry to hear that you are not getting understanding from your exgf. You are definitely not alone in that. I'm glad you found the forum, because many of the members here DO understand what you are going through.

Even though your ex hasn't been diagnosed, the label isn't as important as the behaviors that brought you here. It's really difficult to deal with meltdowns, especially when they get violent. And the hookups without wanting more don't surprise me. If BPD is a factor, that would make a lot of sense, as pwBPD are often comfortable in relationships that are sometimes close, but not too close, so that the fears of abandonment/engulfment won't rear their heads as often.

How long were you together? Are you hoping to rekindle the relationship?

Keep writing. We're here to help. 

heartandwhole