how detailed of a travel itinerary do you give to BPDx?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So it seems my SS's are coming. Wow wow and wow. That is a christmas miracle.

But here is a question. BPDxw just emailed that she wants ALL the addresses the kids will be staying. They will be staying in our home (she already has that address). The night before we hand them back to her we will be staying with friends as they live closer to the airport then we do. Would you also give her the address of that friend?

I personally do not want to hand out my friends addresses to her. Also we are going to be there for only one night and she will have the kids back early the next morning. Oh... our court order says that we need to tell her the address of where the boys will be. I interpret that as: if you travel somewhere for a couple of days, then inform her where you are and let her know addresses.

What would you do?

[soundofmusicgirl]

So it seems my SS's are coming. Wow wow and wow. That is a christmas miracle.

But here is a question. BPDxw just emailed that she wants ALL the addresses the kids will be staying. They will be staying in our home (she already has that address). The night before we hand them back to her we will be staying with friends as they live closer to the airport then we do. Would you also give her the address of that friend?

I personally do not want to hand out my friends addresses to her. Also we are going to be there for only one night and she will have the kids back early the next morning. Oh... our court order says that we need to tell her the address of where the boys will be. I interpret that as: if you travel somewhere for a couple of days, then inform her where you are and let her know addresses.

What would you do?

[livednlearned]

I would write a note saying that, as always, she can reach you by cell number and that the kids will be spending the week at your address, here it is, and here are any other numbers you want her to have.

Leave it vague, reassure her (reminding her about the the cell phone and any other details you feel comfortable sharing) and protect your boundary 

She is prone to look at life a few inches off the ground (problem-solving is hard) so having control of details probably gives her comfort. You and the court order are capable of seeing life at 30,000 feet.

The goal is to address her perspective without giving in to the point she runs things.