I think that your number one priority is to make sure that, no matter what you decide to do, you keep yourself emotionally safe.
I don't really want to open the door to communication w/my ex in fear of getting further verbal abuse or getting sucked in again.
That's it, then, isn't it? Keeping yourself emotionally safe may look like doing
nothing. After all, this is a grown man who knows how to do a change of address, close an account, etc. None of this is your responsibility; you don't need to be "worried" about it. Like any adult, he will eventually have to deal with the fallout of his irresponsibility. (Personally, I was in a parentified r/s with my ex and I know it can be hard to let that "responsibility stuff go; I'm not sure about your situation. Do what's best for YOUR emotional well-being. You take care of YOU and let him take care of himself.)
I guess a part of me is wondering how he's doing. And I do miss him sometimes. I could email him to tell him to take care of these things but I'm scared.
Of course, it's hard to turn off all those feelings; that's normal and natural. But being scared of someone who is "verbally abusive" is also natural (and wise).
I think you already know that remaining no contact is what you need to do while you are healing from the r/s. It's hard, I know; but it sounds like contacting him now could send you backwards several steps. You are making progress and healing (congrats on the no-drinking!) - keep that forward momentum going and build a vision of your life and your future that will make you happy.
As for my own experiences: no contact is not a hard-and-fast rule to be kept until the end of time; it's a good guideline to follow when we're healing.
My ex (accidentally) left behind a box of childhood pictures when she moved out - including many of her beloved grandmother. I considered whether or not to contact her about it for months. I finally decided to leave the box on her front steps when I knew she was at work. She texted me a "thanks" later on but I didn't respond. I knew that seeing her or speaking with her would not help my healing, and would likely send me backwards in many ways.
But then: about a year after our r/s ended I sold the house we lived in and was preparing to move. As I did my change of address for my dog's microchip, I discovered that
her dog's chip was still registered to my home address. I decided to email her about it - and over the course of our corresponding it became a fairly friendly conversation. It was a conversation I was ready for; I was not tempted to try to re-engage; it didn't send me into a tailspin. In fact, the friendlier tone was a sort of closure to me and I feel like it helped me let go of things on a more positive note.
The point is, in both circumstances, I did what felt emotionally safe for ME. I didn't let my worry or concern for her (which I had by the BUCKETFUL when we were together) override what I needed. I've come to understand that that's not a selfish attitude; it's a healthy one.
