I think I'm being stalked? Anybody else have this?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Long story short a mutual friend of myself and my ex contacted me the other night. It was Christmas Eve in fact. My friend told me that my ex has basically copied the way I did my own FAceboon profile pic . And that my ex was using the same lingo I use and icons on FB when she never did that before. Now I'm blocked from her on Facebook since last October. So if she is then she of course has a second FB account. My friend also said she had herd that my ex is now going on Vacation and coming down here to NY where I live. So I told my friend I don't want anything to do with her. Has anyone else felt or knew for a fact they were being stalked weather on social media or physical. It's creepy.

[Confused108]

Long story short a mutual friend of myself and my ex contacted me the other night. It was Christmas Eve in fact. My friend told me that my ex has basically copied the way I did my own FAceboon profile pic . And that my ex was using the same lingo I use and icons on FB when she never did that before. Now I'm blocked from her on Facebook since last October. So if she is then she of course has a second FB account. My friend also said she had herd that my ex is now going on Vacation and coming down here to NY where I live. So I told my friend I don't want anything to do with her. Has anyone else felt or knew for a fact they were being stalked weather on social media or physical. It's creepy.

[GlennT]

Yes I have been stalked because I was successfully accomplishing NC. NC triggers their abandonment fears. Always continue doing your NC and they will eventually stop trying to get you back, and find some other object of prey. DO NOT show anger at them, there is no telling what a scorned BPD will do. They can accuse you of rape, or beat themselves up and claim you did it, and tell everyone they know that you have been stalking them. This is why when we know that we are being stalked to try to be in places where we know there will be witnesses. Keep the records and times in a journal, so people can verify you've been there. Depending on the severity of their BPD, they may even try to kill us! Always record their calls and emails to have proof of harassment. Get voice recorded messages when they call with recorded dates and times.

[stimpy]

Yes, I've had this too.

We were both in an online socialising group, and after she discarded me, what I found was that if I signed up for an event, she would then sign up as well, and if I signed off, then she would sign off. She didn't sign up to other events, only the ones I was doing.

Then, if we both turned up to an event, normally a city walk or something, then she would flirt with other guys and walk really near to me, but she wouldn't talk to me or acknowledge my existence. I tried to talk to her a couple of times, which seemed kinda like a normal thing to do, even with an ex, and she just gave me the silent treatment or told me she didn't want to talk to me.

In the end I emailed her to leave me alone, and gradually she stopped. So in total I had 6 months of her actually turning up to stuff I was at, and then a further 6 months of her in effect shadowing me and following me on the internet and watching what I was doing and where I was going, but not actually turning up. Then she completely disappeared. Maybe she's found a replacement... .

It was horrible, but I refused to let her change my socialising, and in the end I saw just how messed up and childish she was. It actually helped me in the process of detaching, because no normal person would ever do this. Sometimes when she turned up, she was really bubbly and chatty and other times she looked really spaced out, and she didn't seem to be fully there if you know what I mean. Part of me almost felt sorry for her. But then I remembered all the nasty behaviour and that feeling of pity soon passed.

[Confused108]

Thanks for the info Glenn T and Stimpy. Well here is the thing. I beljve that this ex had previously stalked me before she came back into my life in 2013. She found me thru mutual friends on FB. Then for 2 1/2 years tried to in a subtle way come in to me and I avoided it. Then stupid me listened to her lies last year and took me on the most hellish roller coaster ride for 2 month. I feel in love with her all over again and she just outta the blue dumped me. Saying how she felt for 2 months she couldn't commuincate with me etc. all lies. So after that I got fake FB messages , emails , calls from Canada on my Cel. Blocked phone calls on my Cel. No one there etc. we all know the usual dealing with these psychos. Now from what my friend showed me it's obvious. But she lives in Canada and I'm here in NY. She lives about 6 hours away from me. I don't think she is dangerous . But she dumped me last Sept 2015 so I can't believe she is still doing this crap.

[lovenature]

Ya I was stalked by my ex., she would follow me places, show up uninvited to where I was, watch what I was up to (she lives across the street) .

The way it ends is to stick to complete NC; don't give them ANY attention or response to contact attempts what so ever. They will find another attachment.

[ShadowA]

My ex has stalked me before, she admitted to me about it years ago.

I don't know if she still does as we recycled so many times and disconnected more contact over time as recycles kept going.

There has been a lot of shady stuff however...   But it's not as bad as it use to be.

[bus boy]

I've caught my xw's BF following me many times. Xw and her BF have followed me together during my sons access with me. People who xw's BF say he's a good guy and are shocked at his actions. Xw found a flying monkey. Xw's father has followed me countless times, he will hide in a parking lot and watch me. For the past 9 years Xw makes no bones about following, harassing and verbally attacking my sister. Xw's whole clan is ef'd up.

[Confused108]

It still amazes me how and why they do this. I mean they most of the time are the ones dumping us. It truly is a crazy illness.

[GlennT]

Tell you're sister to audio/videotape these attacks with a phone, and preferably with a witness, then call the police, and then go to her local courthouse to request an application for a Restraining Order. It's free.  

For the past 9 years Xw makes no bones about following, harassing and verbally attacking my sister. Xw's whole clan is ef'd up.

[OutofTheWoods]

Not only has my ex BPD stalked me online - he has made my replacement crazy enough to stalk me heavily as well - (probably to keep her adequately insecure and distracted from his own behavior).

Apparently this replacement has blocked me, my new boyfriend, and has created a separate private social media account to prevent me from seeing her posts. A friend who is her acquaintance told me this - I was like woowwww    She also did this weird thing where she would "like" my facebook page and then block me a few days later (?)

Mind you we have never had a conversation, she has never met my boyfriend, and I have been broken up with my ex for 4 YEARS. It's a very sad thing to witness.

Don't engage - know legal boundaries and protect yourself if you feel unsafe!

[Confused108]

My God the stories! Well new update. Since my friend had showed me how my ex basically copied my picture exactly on her FB page I decided to change mine. Well long and behold my friend contacted me the other day letting me know as soon as I changed my pic my ex did the same. This time not copying me but putting up a snow flake as her profile pic ... .because I love snow . I just don't get it.

[ShadowA]

Caught mine stalking. >_> She doesn't realize it though that I know.

I don't understand why it is what it is tho. She ditched me, she's with someone new. Yet she's now stalking me under a different alias. Like... really? why? I just don't get it.

[bus boy]

My Xw doesn't know that I've caught her BF following me. It's amazing the power BPD/NPD's can have over someone, to turn someone against a stranger for no reason.

GlenT- my sister has video, she has gone to the RCMP.

[greenmonkey]

I am now over two years out and been NC all the time.

Over two years I have had my uBPD exgf sit outside my fence line out of view of cameras, this happens fortnightly sometimes weekly. I have had numerous fake FB accounts come up as people you may know with no mutual friends, I have had fraudulent insurance policies taking out in her name at my address, anonymous views on LinkedIn ( these have now stopped as I blocked all possibles), oh and 6months supply of coffee pods anonymously.

She is now on her 3rd re-incarnation on FB - and last year when my idol David Bowie died she sent me a Games Center request in my name  . When George Michael died again another one of my idols - I got another fake friend request.

In the last few days I had a message request from someone connected to her ex-husband 
who found me via my phone number.

The mind truly boggles at the lengths they go to. I just get on with my life, I keep my own record should it ever escalate, and the police are well aware of the behaviours. I know the triggering times, but luckily technology is evolving and making it easier to keep her away. Her only option of truly breaking NC is by turning up at my front door, but she is unlikely to do this as I have CCTV.

If you feel threatened go and log it with the police and start documenting anything that happens or just feels weird

[ShadowA]

If you know it's them 100%. Should I just let it go on til she get's tired of it? Or should I actually flat out tell her I know?

[greenmonkey]

It is all about getting a reaction - negative or positive.

Document it and get on with your life and no contact - any contact can immediately get twisted to "you are harassing me""I told my friends he/she was stalking me - here is the proof" and that general thing.

No reaction means nothing to feed off and nothing to add to any smear campaign. Just document it and if necessary go to the police and log it.