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Author Topic: Dazed and confused  (Read 547 times)
dazed0227
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: December 29, 2016, 09:44:21 PM »

Hi I am new to this forum.
i have been with my gf for 15 months and she has been diagnosed with BPD.  I tried everything i could to understand her condition and the love that we had for one another is the sole reason why it lasted as long as it did.  Or so i thought.
After splitting up and getting back together more times than i care to recall, over the last 2 months i have found her behaviour to be alarming.  It wasn't just about mood swings, lying, unreasonable demands - she actually started to invent conversations / scenarios that hadn't happened.  She would even swear blind that a scenario between us had just occurred even thought nothing of the sort had happened.  Has anyone else experienced this?
After trying again last week (we agreed to look to the future instead of rehashing the past) she lost it the other night and again accused me over cheating (which i would NEVER do) and then left me VM's saying she was going to hurt herself.  :)ue to her being physically intimidating in the past, i explained that i couldn't meet with her.  She had previously put me in hospital after a similar 'rage'.

Since then, i have heard NOTHING.  no texts, no response to VM's i have left willing her to talk to me so we can try to move forward.  Literally nothing.  Ordinarily i would get some form of contact (albeit it often abusive) via phone, email etc.  Since this happened, i called her on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and her birthday day.  No reply.  Although i did get a missed call from her at 2.30am on her birthday but no VM left.  

I am blocked on everything.

So my question is, is it likely that this is simply over for good OR is it possible that they have a moment of realisation that their behaviour has been unacceptable and they feel embarrassed?

I am struggling big time as I adore this girl (which makes me feel bad about myself to love and crave someone who treats me so badly) and it is making me ill. I have been given an ultimatum from my family to walk away from her or lose them as they cannot bear to see me go through this again willingly.

I guess i am just looking for some form of explanation as to why she would do this only days after we starting a fresh on her terms and things looking positive (as she has been accepted for DBT in January).

Hurting and Lost.

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Hisaccount
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 336


« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2016, 09:05:43 AM »

I am not the best person to answer all of your questions, but I do know that you are looking for logical actions from someone with a broken mind.

They are unpredictable. Their emotions control how they think.

She will be back. But her shame and guilt might be too much for her to stay.
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lovenature
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731


« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2017, 07:06:25 PM »

Welcome dazed

Excerpt
It wasn't just about mood swings, lying, unreasonable demands - she actually started to invent conversations / scenarios that hadn't happened.  She would even swear blind that a scenario between us had just occurred even thought nothing of the sort had happened.  Has anyone else experienced this?

Yes, to a PWBPD feelings=facts, and they can cognitively distort reality to fit whatever they are feeling, this goes for past, present, and future.
It is likely you will hear from her again, it all depends on her emotion of the moment and who is available at the time.
I would recommend that you continue reading and learning about BPD, and seriously think about whether you would rather loose her or your family.
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