Late to the game

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi everyone,

It is nice to join this community. My sister has been diagnosed with BPD a few months ago. She has been mentally ill though for about half her life since her early teenage years and has attempted suicide 2x in the past. We come from a reasonably healthy family and household. However, my parents are anxious, stubborn, and broken in someways with all that has happen.
My sister has been receiving professional help for many years, seeing all kinds of doctors and therapists. Her latest support system is starting to help. She has gotten pretty much acronym labeled on her. She got bullied back in the day, and that unraveled into several more problems over years. She as many of you would say for your loved ones did not deserve mental illness. She means well, and has the capacity to live at peace and thrive in life.

So, we (my family) are still trying to figure out how to give her a better, safer, and happier future. She gave me the book "Walking on Eggshells" to read the other day (her therapist gave it to her), and learned about this site. I don't usually use forums or generally social media, so this is new for me. I hope I step up as a sibling and I can bring value and input into conversations here and take away value as well to help my family and myself.  

I am happy to 2016 is finally over, and I can only hope for a better year ahead. Happy New Years! And may everyone live with positivity, warmth, tranquility, and hope. Look forward to connecting in the future.

[justwantohelp]

Hi everyone,

It is nice to join this community. My sister has been diagnosed with BPD a few months ago. She has been mentally ill though for about half her life since her early teenage years and has attempted suicide 2x in the past. We come from a reasonably healthy family and household. However, my parents are anxious, stubborn, and broken in someways with all that has happen.
My sister has been receiving professional help for many years, seeing all kinds of doctors and therapists. Her latest support system is starting to help. She has gotten pretty much acronym labeled on her. She got bullied back in the day, and that unraveled into several more problems over years. She as many of you would say for your loved ones did not deserve mental illness. She means well, and has the capacity to live at peace and thrive in life.

So, we (my family) are still trying to figure out how to give her a better, safer, and happier future. She gave me the book "Walking on Eggshells" to read the other day (her therapist gave it to her), and learned about this site. I don't usually use forums or generally social media, so this is new for me. I hope I step up as a sibling and I can bring value and input into conversations here and take away value as well to help my family and myself.  

I am happy to 2016 is finally over, and I can only hope for a better year ahead. Happy New Years! And may everyone live with positivity, warmth, tranquility, and hope. Look forward to connecting in the future.

[Kwamina]

Hi justwanthelp

I am sorry your sister is struggling with these serious issues and can see how this would also seriously impact the rest of your family, including you. That's why I am glad you are reaching out for support here as many of our members are dealing with a BPD family-member too and will be able to relate to you. Are you and your parents getting any help for yourselves as you cope with this difficult situation?

BPD is quite a challenging disorder, but now that your sister has been diagnosed, she can at least get some targeted treatment for her issues. I find it a very positive sign that your sister seems to be willing to work on her issues and try to improve her behavior.

When it comes to dealing with BPD, the old cliché of knowledge equals power also applies. Your sister gave you the book ' Walking on Eggshells' to read, I also encourage you to take a look around here at all the resources we have. We for instance describe several communications techniques on this site that you might benefit from as you deal with your sister.

What would you say are currently the biggest issues your sister is still facing?

You mention her 2 suicide attempts, going through this can be very traumatic for the entire family. Is suicidal ideation still something your sister struggles with?

Take care and welcome to  bpdfamily

[justwantohelp]

Hi Kwamina,

Thank you for replying. I am receiving help, but my parents are not. I used to go to therapist for a few years on my own. Then, I stopped for a bit, but recently I started going to a support group. The group is more broad than focused on BPD or specfic issues. My parents during this whole time have never really sought help for themselves even though I kept asking them too. My dad's confidant is his best friend from childhood who became a psychiatrist and has been supportive here and there. I also have been meditating a lot this past year, hoping to improve my practice. Trying to encourage my parents to meditate as well.

In terms of my sister, suicide ideation is something she still struggles with. Not at the same level as before, and she is doing better at addressing the thoughts. And the biggest issue right now is she has never held a full-time job. She finished her masters recently, and wants a job, but is having a hard time landing. Her biggest issue mentally is her OCD thoughts and random laughing. We are trying to help her work her through her thoughts and not sure how to handle laughing, any suggestions?

Also, I do not live at home currently, and returned back to where I live from visiting home during the holidays. Something I forgot to mention before.

[Kwamina]

Hi again justwantohelp

Sorry for the late reply!

It is too bad your parents have never really gotten any help for themselves. Do you feel like they truly acknowledge that your sister has mental issues? Do you perhaps feel like your parents are still somewhat in denial about the extent of your sister's issues?

Her biggest issue mentally is her OCD thoughts and random laughing. We are trying to help her work her through her thoughts and not sure how to handle laughing, any suggestions?

I am not sure what would be the best way of dealing with her random laughing. What does your sister's therapist say about this?

Take care