Worst week ever. (BPD mother, abuse)

[catlady6]

... .well my mother flipped her lid officially and has been making fake calls to the police, trying to get my dad arrested. For instance, she claimed he ran her over with his car... .luckily the police realized she was just making crazy accusations and did not do anything. (And now she's mad at the police for "treating her like she is crazy" so maybe she will lay off calling them... .) But she has been doing it over and over, more frequently. Coupled with that, she has been hurting herself more and beating my father more than she was... It's to a point where my dad's and my only option is to get my mom into treatment whether she likes it or not.

He finally realizes that she is not going to improve. We now have a plan of action. He spoke with her psychiatrist (who it turns out suspected BPDm was unstable but wasn't aware of what degree... .) and she is going to help us get my mother Baker Acted. She has a therapy session on Tuesday, which will actually be the evaluation for the Baker Act.

I'm so worried about between now and Tuesday, but I have faith that we can make it through this... .I'm still no-contact with my mom, but I am speaking with my dad (as much as I can, as she limits his phone access... ) and we have the plan in motion to make her go into treatment. Hopefully they can also address the pill addiction while she is there.

I'm sure my mom will hate me forever for this, since it was me leaving that started her downward spiral this week (she is getting worse each day) but i would rather she hate me, and get better, than to be crazy forever and not do anything to stop it. I couldn't handle the constant abuse, and I know my father can't either even though he always says he's okay. It's not okay. It's to a point where she has threatened his livlihood and is physically putting him in danger more often than not.

my dad just has to make it through til Tuesday. If you're religious please pray for us. (Or if you're not and want to send positive vibes, anything helps... ) We fear that my mom will keep reporting to the police fake things and it will mess with his job and life. We just need her to be (relatively) calm until Tuesday. However now everything is on record with the psychiatrist, and she will back us up if BPDm tries anything, so there's that... .my dad deserves to have his life. So do I. And we believe that BPDm can be helped, with the right treatment.

I hope that this will end the struggle. Tuesday could be the best day of our lives. At the very least, BPDm will be forced to get the right medication to control her urges... .I guess worst case scenario she could still be terrible once she's cured, but at least she won't be crazy anymore... .

Honestly, this board community has been a saving grace. Without it I likely would not have stuck to my guns and started planning to force her to get help, and to help my father. My dad also now knows about BPD. Silver lining here, my mom could get better and be herself (the kind, caring person she once was) again. That's what we hope and pray for.

Just gotta make it til Tuesday... .

[P.F.Change]

I will be praying for you all, catlady6.

It does sound like your mother is not functioning very well at the moment. It's good her doctor is going to be taking steps to get her appropriate care, even if it's not voluntary. Realistically, she will still have to be willing to comply with treatment long-term in order to get better. But perhaps this will be the start she needs. And even if she acts like she hates you for leaving, or blames you for her having to go to hospital, it's not your fault this is happening. Even if she is crazy forever, it's not about you. It's

Tuesday is only a few days away. Does your dad have a plan to stay safe if she continues to dysregulate further this weekend? This can be a good opportunity for you to practice some extra self-care as well. Have you thought about what you and your father might do to relax while the hospital cares for your mother?

Wishing you peace,
PF

[Turkish]

My thoughts are along the line add PFC's: will your dad be safe until then? Is there a plan where he could be if things get to more than he can handle?

Safety First

[Leaflet]

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I know firsthand how hard the abuse is. I think it's very kind of you to continue to work towards your mom getting treatment even though she's to the point that you can't have a relationship with her. Prayers for Tuesday. I hope she goes really nuts while the doctors are watching so you have lots of witnesses to her behavior!

[Fie]

hello Catlady 

How did it go today ?