finally divorcing a spouse with severe BPD and narcistic disorder

[abused by bpd]

I once had a very normal, regular life. The first 35 years of my life were completely conflict free. I had a happy wonderful life. I never could have imagined how my entire life was about to be turned inside out. At age 35 I met someone that I first thought was a potential best friend and wife. I could not have been more fooled. I knew that something was not right quickly. Inconsistencies, mood changes, lack of compassion, manipulation, etc. Of course I did not heed the red flags. I married this person. It was all down hill from there. Two children deeply effected, from birth. Myself turning into the exact opposite of what I once was. It took 10 years and much research to define and put a name on the problem. At first I actually was manipulated into thinking I might be part of the problem. Then I began learning about the flip tactic. Then I was continually lied to and lied about to others, including my children. Once I had a good handle of what was really going on, I felt sorry for the mental illness involved. That also turned into a critical mistake. I drowned in the abuse for 23 years. Finally, the inevitable divorce has commenced. I just purchased the book splitting protecting yourself while divorcing someone with BPD/narcism. After 23 years and several psychologists and psychiatrists I do not know if there is possibly anything I have not learned about this illness yet. I will read the book and find out who knows more about this. Myself or the author. I am hoping at least it will give some guide lines to cope with the divorce and the trauma that still remains. If anyone has any suggestions or would like to talk, I would appreciate that.

[livednlearned]

I'm so sorry you were abused, and glad you found the site and are beginning to heal.

Eddy's book is helpful because most of us aren't familiar with how family law court works, so hopefully you'll discover helpful insights to protect you.

Have you already filed for divorce?

Are you represented by a lawyer?

What are some of your concerns when it comes to dissolving the financial part of your marriage (assuming custody is not an issue)?

LnL