Friend No Longer Speaks to Me After Our 1st Fight

[Witkoa61]

Hello all,

I think I've lost someone who was quickly becoming my best friend. He was my personal trainer for 10 months & then we became friends. Not romantic but we did everything else together. We talked about everything. We shared common interests.

He lost his job & shortly after was tentatively diagnosed BPD. Honestly he's practically textbook but I was willing to be there for him. Except I screwed up. A month into his treatment he decided to go do mushrooms with an old friend. I got angry & frightened that he was going to mess up his treatment. I told him I wouldn't continue being his friend if he did the shrooms. He did the shrooms & I returned his house key.

I now know that BPD's have huge abandonment issues. He freaked out. Blocked my number on his phone, drive away from his home when I went to apologize in person, & unfriended me on FB. I'm assuming I've truly lost him?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Witkoa61,



I'm sorry to hear of your situation, it hurts when a friend pushes away like that.

How long has it been since the incident? Maybe a cooling down period would help?

I don't think all is necessarily lost, but it may take time for him to be able to hear your apology.

I suggest checking out the tools and info. At the right sidebar-------->

They will help when and if you have the opportunity to talk with your friend again.

Try not to be too hard on yourself; it's clear that you care and want the best for your friend. We don't always find an effective way to express that, but we can learn better ways and keep trying  

heartandwhole