Hi Consciousliving
You've come here with the hope of connecting with other adult children of BPD parents. Being raised by a disordered parent isn't easy. We have many members posting here (including me) who have one or more disordered parents and know how very difficult this can be and how much this can affect you even in your adult life.
Having a support network can be invaluable as you try to heal and grow. That's why I think it's great that you and also your sister have the support of a counselor
I am an adult child of an lcoholic and all of the struggles I've dealt with this far have been blamed on the fact that my father is an lcoholic.
Who was the one who blamed your father for your struggles, did your mother do that?
What would you say are the biggest struggles you are currently facing?
He was recently hospitalized for acute pancreatitis and forced into recovery by his fear of death.
How is your dad doing now health wise? I can imagine that this must have been quite scary for him and also for you.
Recognizing the harmful effect of his wife on his life he filed for divorce.
What were the most harmful effects she had on his life in your opinion? Do you perhaps feel like your father was allowing himself to be controlled by her out of fear, obligation and/or guilt?
These changing circumstances have opened up some very difficult dialogue with my bioligical mother. She has yelled, accused, ignored, hung up on me, projected what she did to me on to me and blamed me for her hanging up... .all of this brought back a flood of memories from my childhood and teen years.
Boundaries are indeed very important when dealing with a BPD family-member, not just to keep yourself safe but also your children. To help you in your healing process, I encourage you to take a look at the Survivors' Guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse, you can find it in the right-hand side margin of this board.
Welcome to bpdfamily
PS. I like your screenname!
