Hi, new here.

[HopefulStill]

I'm sorry all of you are experiencing some connection to BPD. I had no knowledge of the disorder until my mom recently attempted suicide and the hospital psychiatrist brought up the possible diagnosis.

I really hope I am not to late to the game on this one. I'm hoping my mom still has a chance. She is in her 70's and has been battling a number of issues for (dramatically) the past 10 years, though many of the issues started before then.

I guess my first question is - where did you start? Is there a book or resource you would recommend to get my head wrapped around this and for my step-father (who is my mom's primary caretaker)? He is not computer savvy, so won't be able to join this community. I ordered "The Essential Family Guide to BPD" and "I hate you; don't leave me." and am open to any other suggestions.

Also, as I know both of my parents are near the end of their tethers - my mom attempted to OD in early December, followed by a faked attempt (along with my dad trying to follow suit) at the end of December and most recently, my mom "falling" down the stairs today and back in the ER.

Thank you in advance for welcoming me into this community and for any advice you have for a newcomer. As background, I'm in my mid-30's and have a supportive husband, fun 4.5 year old girl and 6-month old baby, all of whom I am trying to stay present for while trying to figure out how to help my parents.

Many thanks.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome  HopefulStill:   

I'm so sorry that your mom has BPD and has attempted suicide.  You say your father tried to follow suit, in one instance.  Are both of them on meds and/or getting some therapy?  I hope your mom's recent fall wasn't serious.  The article below on Suicidal Ideation, might have some helpful information for you.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=79032.0;all

You might want to finish reading the books you have and then consider what issues you want more information on.  I read the book, "Stop Walking on Egg Shells".  If you go to the top of the page, where the large green banner is, you will find a section for "Tools".  Within that menu, is a link to book reviews and other helpful things.

I guess my first question is - where did you start?

Most people find that by using validation and various communication skills, they can ease the strain of interacting with a person with BPD (pwBPD).  The skills in the lessons are great to learn, as they can be helpful to use with normal people in everyday life.

The two links below could be a good starting point to learn some skills:

VALIDATION
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation

COMMUNICATION OVERVIEW
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0;all

Other than suicide, what are some of the main behavior problems that your mom exhibits?

I look forward to hearing more of your story.  Let us know how we can help.