BPD Twin

[22407ht]

I suspect my identical twin sister has high functioning BPD- Just curious who else has a twin with BPD. 

Growing up I was the 'good twin' and from the observation of my father, my sister chose her personality directly opposite me.  She was in constant conflict with my parents, had many relationship issues with a boyfriend in her mid teens, and had an incident with cutting herself.  She also was very fluid with her personality and would change to fit in with the group she was around.  She has used guilt and manipulation to use those around her and she has a temper when she perceives she is feeling judged.  She also We are now in our 30's and as a result of her dysfunctional relationship with me, I have distanced myself.  We are going to attempt therapy soon because she does not understand why I am not close with her.  There is more I could go into, but I would love to hear from other twins. 

[Kwamina]

Hi 22407ht and welcome to our online community

We have several members here with a BPD sibling, some with a BPD twin.

It is sad that your sister is having all these problems as a result of her BPD. Based on your post, she has a long history of issues. Has she perhaps ever been diagnosed with any kind of disorder and/or gotten help for her issues?

You mention going to attempt therapy soon. Ae you going to take therapy sessions together with your sister?

Take care

The Board Parrot

[22407ht]

Thanks for your message, Kwamina
She was never formally diagnosed- her and my parents saw a therapist in 2009 and he privately told my parents that he thought she had BPD. 

We have a therapy session set up together through video conferencing.  I hope that she will understand her actions have resulted in me becoming distant and maybe work on improving our relationship. 

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hi 22407ht:  
I'd like to join Kwamina in welcoming you. I'm sorry about the problems with your sister. I know how frustrating that can be.

My sister is 2 years older than me. I believe she is a high functioning BPD as well. We are currently not in contact. At some point, I'm considering sending her a letter to suggest joint therapy.

Just wondering if you have any thoughts on the basis of your sister's BPD behavior. In my family, my dad had some strong BPD traits - critical, raging, silent treatment. It became apparent that he had an anxiety disorder and there was a history of episodes of depression.  Is there any history of mental disorders in your family? Does anyone else have signs of a personality disorder?

Let us know how things go with the therapy session.

[22407ht]

Hi Naughty Nibbler
I come from a family where my dad has some obsessive thought/anxiety d/o and my mom has BPD traits.   I will be curious to see what therapy brings out and if it is helpful.  I will gladly share my experience. 
Thanks!