Newbie

[Zoea]

Hi. My brother has BPD. He has been ill throughout his life. Brain tumours, coexisting conditions & now a pre-leukemia disorder. He is basically very poorly physically. His BPD has now reared its head to the extreme. He has been in an acute hospital for 7 months due to infections & also mental health. He just won't/can't help himself.
He hasn't got time to get over a mental condition as his physical illness will kill him. It's so exasperating we just don't know what to do

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Zoea:
I'm so sorry about the situation with your brother.  He has had an extreme set of circumstances.  What type of treatment has he received for the brain tumors?  Did he have a diagnosis of BPD before he developed brain tumors? 

It would be difficult for a person without BPD to deal with everything you brother has had to face.  I can see how his collective health issues would bring out the worst of BPD behaviors.  What are some of the behavior issues you could use the most help with right now?

There are a lot of links to helpful information to the right of this post.  That can be a good place to start exploring information.

[Zoea]

He has been in hospital a while. One day able to get around ok, the next he is literally bed bound. He just thinks he can't do it & is in self pity.
He had the diagnosis after the 2ND brain tumour. The family don't know how we should be with him. Hard, walk in egg shells, pity. We try to encourage him but it's hard work.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hi Zoea: 
Are the doctors able to tell you if his behavior might be caused by his brain tumor?

The links below could help you with communication skills that might be helpful to use with your brother.

COMMUNICATIONS
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0

VALIDATION
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating

Does your brother engage in something to occupy his time, while in the hospital? It has to be very depressing for him. Is he seeing a psychologist while in the hospital? 

[Fie]

Hello Zoea  

Welcome!  I am so sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.
That must be incredibly hard, not only for your brother but also for you. NN gave you some really helpful links, I think the best you can do is start reading them and keep posting here about how you are doing.

How is the relationship with your parents ? Do you have a good bond ?
How about you, apart from the situation with your brother, is there space left in your life to do things just for you ? How do you practice self care ? Do you have a hobby ? Do you have close friends who stand by you and who you can talk to ?

There are lots of people here who will stand by you every step of your way. Please keep posting.

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