Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 05:19:53 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Things I couldn't have known
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
Am I the Cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
I think it's Borderline Personality Disorder, but how can I know?
90
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Where do we go now?  (Read 375 times)
Annelizabeth
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: January 19, 2017, 10:27:26 AM »

After 4 residential programs, DBT and ongoing therapy and medication we are nearing the dreaded 18th birthday. What do we do? Residential before the actual birthday has been suggested otherwise we cannot force her. They say we are too late for guardianship. We didn't even know about this before. A power of attorney? But arrange to put her in another residential ... .Really? Is this her fate? To be locked away? At times she threatens to leave the house and go away. This is our fear. Her being " out there". Are there group homes for independent living or that can transition her to independent living? We' re worried. We have never been " taught" how to deal with her moods and emotions.  Help.
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
drained1996
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 693


« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2017, 03:40:41 PM »

Hi Annelizabeth,

So sorry to hear of the circumstances that bring you here.  Having a loved one with BPD traits in our lives can be very challenging to say the least.  You'll find you are not alone, as many here either have or are walking in your shoes.  I personally do not have experience with a child with BPD, but I am pretty experienced with the illness having had two diagnosed significant others in my life. 

Excerpt
We have never been " taught" how to deal with her moods and emotions.

One thing many of us have learned is that we cannot change them (that's up to them), but we can change how we react to and communicated with them.  Often times the way we react to or communicate with them simply exacerbates the issue.  In the upper right margin of this page you will find some tools and lessons geared to help you improve your own reactions and communication in your situation.  Many have found putting these suggested tips into use has improved their circumstances. 

Keep posting, you may also want to post your legal questions here:  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=10.0

You've found the right place for knowledge, understanding, and sharing.   
Logged
livednlearned
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12731



« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2017, 10:44:52 AM »

Hi Annelizabeth,

Have you read Buddha and the Borderline? It's a memoir of a woman who went through DBT, including living independently (an important part of recovery). If nothing else it may provide you some insight into what someone with BPD experiences as she recovers and goes on to live a life worth living.

Is there a possibility your D will come live with you?

For dealing with moods and emotions, have you read any of the books recommended? If not, I would be happy to list some that have helped me. They don't prevent the mood swings and emotional dysregulation, though there are plenty of skills that prevent things from getting worse.

Glad you posted and hope you'll share more with us. You're not alone.

 Smiling (click to insert in post)

LnL
Logged

Breathe.
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!