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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Keeping my stuff? Related to object constancy?
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Topic: Keeping my stuff? Related to object constancy? (Read 356 times)
anothercasualty
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 114
Keeping my stuff? Related to object constancy?
«
on:
January 22, 2017, 03:54:59 PM »
I broke up with my uBPDexGF a few months ago. I still struggle and some of that was due to both of us leaving the door open somewhat for a recycle or at least more communication.
My question is, why would she keep my stuff that was at her house when we broke up? It's inconsequential stuff (for the most part, I do miss that really expensive bottle of whiskey I left though). I left a couple of shirts, some board games, some other liquor, and some glassware. I know she knows she has it, but I won't ask for it back. I consider it a sacrifice to the relationship gods!
I know the breakup before this one, she confessed to wearing the sweatshirt I had left behind at that time every night to bed. Why the heck? She broke up with me that time.
Anybody can explain the thought process? What have you sacrificed to the relationship gods?
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vortex of confusion
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Re: Keeping my stuff? Related to object constancy?
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Reply #1 on:
January 22, 2017, 04:34:26 PM »
The first thing that popped into my head when I read your post was, "Why do people go on vacation and get souvenirs?"
Some people collect souvenirs and some people don't. She may want to find a way to still feel close to you without having to deal with a relationship.
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