No contact sibling, continued need for healingr

[piglet59]

I have an older sibling diagnosed with BPD many years ago.  This is my only sibling, both parents deceased.  We have attempted several times to repair our relationship as adults. The first time we stopped talking she made the decision.  Then we tried again.  During the last attempt she used triangulation with a relative and her daughters to "pay back" an old misperceived slight. Triangulation often contains falsehoods about the missing person which change depending on the 3rd person.  I asked if we could communicate by letter (paper copy of falsehoods). We are at no contact again.  I am okay with this but feel I still have healing to do.  I'm sure there are others out there who have already gone through this and could offer good advice or sharing.

[Kwamina]

Welcome back piglet59

It's been a long time since you were last here. Your sister has been officially diagnosed with BPD. Has she ever received any targeted treatment for her disorder?

When you last posted, you also mentioned that you believe your mother was uBPD. Growing up in an environment with multiple disordered family-members can be very difficult.

You are currently NC (no contact) with your sister again? When did you last have contact with her?

Many of our members are here to work on their healing and I am glad you have returned

[piglet59]

She has received some treatment and medication.  I'm not sure the extent because she also has bipolar diagnosis. Last contact by phone was 2 years ago.  I have sent her birthday and holiday cards, she also sends them to me.  Last in person contact was over 3 years when I took her out for a birthday lunch.

[Kwamina]

Hi again piglet59,

Thanks for answering my questions. So I'll follow up with some more questions

What led to your sister getting the BPD diagnosis in the first place, was it perhaps after a specific incident or was she already getting help? Do you believe your sister fully acknowledges and understand her BPD diagnosis and the consequences of this disorder?

You mention still feeling like you have some healing to do. This is true for many of our members.  I myself have an uBPD mom and sis and know how much this can affect you. Something that might help you in your healing process, is the Survivors' Guide for adults who suffered childhood abuse. You can find it in the right-hand side margin of this board. Are there perhaps any particular areas listed there that you currently find yourself struggling on?