Hello New Here.

[Shawna76]

Hello.
My husband of 5 years has BPD. It has been a loonnnnggg 7 years(2 years before marriage.) I now understanding that I'm co dependent and I too suffer from a case of PTSD coming from a emotional and physically abused childhood. My husband from a severely neglected childhood. We joke that God made us especially for each other. We are seeing a therapist for the whole family. He isn't ready to put a label on it now. But he understands that there is an issue.  After a very explosive incident that caused everyone in the house to become unglued, we are trying to put the peices togather and find some safe level to function on. I know it is going to be shaky at times.
So I wanted to join a group where other families and friends share what all they go through. I still have so much to learn about how to love my husband. Despite everything, I really adore him. I look forward to sharing with you all.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Shawna76:   

I'm sorry that you have a BPD husband and that you, also, had an abusive childhood. You say the explosive incident disturbed the whole family. That must have been disturbing.  I'm glad that you are engaged in therapy for the whole family.  Getting a person with BPD to go to therapy can be difficult, so you have jumped one hurdle. 

This is a great community with helpful people.  It is a safe place to share.  You will find that by learning some communication tools, it can make things easier for you.  You only have control over yourself, the way you interact and the way you react. 

There are lessons and tools in the margin to the right and within the wide green band at the very top of this page.  Both areas have a "Tools" section.  Check out a lesson or two and let us know what you think.  Some people find it helpful to do some trial runs with some of the skills and seek to check their understanding.

[Tattered Heart]

Welcome Shawna. You will find a lot of support here. It's comforting to know that others out there have experience with many of the different issues related to BPD. One of the important things to living with someone with BPD is that you can't make things better until you stop making them worse. The lessons on the right side of the page are a great place to start. NOw that you've realized and admitted that you are co-dependent, it's time to start making steps to take care of you and your family. Looking forward to learning more about you and your situation.

[Shawna76]

Thank you for the welcome.
I look forward to learning and growing with this group.