Was Your Relationship Toxic?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Just curious if you considered your rs with your expwBPD toxic? We fought every 2 or 3 days for the most part so mine was.

[Duped 1]

Just curious if you considered your rs with your expwBPD toxic? We fought every 2 or 3 days for the most part so mine was.

[Hisaccount]

When I was in it, I would say no.

being out, healing and seeing the damage she did to me.
Absolutely she was toxic.
If you can survive this you can survive anything.

[AustenJ]

I agree, when you are in, you never see it as a toxic relationship... .but she drank a ton and I drank with her even though i was a lightweight when we met, she screwed around on me, she cut, she purged, she lied... .but I considered her the love of my life... .and I'm still screwed up... .so yes, you don't understand the full toxicity of the relationship until you are out of the relationship and begin your re-programming... .The destruction borderlines cause is devastating to those around them... .my exBPDgf called herself a tornado. Enough said... .

[bus boy]

We rarely fought but I was bad to turn inward and say nothing.  A learned behaviour from having a verbally abusive father. When I did stand up to her to have a healthy argument her eyes would get as big as saucers and a look, that would resemble something out of revelations would come on her face and she would shut down my attempts argue back. I was also sore all the time, back,
Knees, neck, all my joints but when she left my joint pain went away. It was very toxic in every way.

[infjEpic]

Hollywood movie level toxic.

I was aware it became toxic about 2 months in, but there were some toxic episodes before that which made sense in retrospect.

Over the next 2 months, I broke up with her numerous times due to catching her out on various lies and deceptions.
During these arguments, she never let up haranguing me until I agreed to give it another shot.
Then convinced me the issue was with me (carrying baggage).

The over-riding issue was the Incessant triangulation & I started to have pretty bad anxiety.
She threw many guys in my face, but this one guy in particular - on a regular basis, but especially when we argued.
That guy ultimately turned out to be my replacement, and she overlapped him with me.

That lasted even less time than she lasted with me. Then she attempted to recycle me.

She was far more vicious to me and tried harder to recycle me than any other previous mark.
I think that's because deep down - she knows if she was ever gonna sustain a relationship with anyone - it was gonna be with me. (personality type, track record etc)
And her family, who were telling her to marry me from day one (I saw the txts) were gutted to see me go.
They didn't believe her about the false abuse allegations etc.
Nor do they know I reported the attempt on my life to the police.
They fully expected we wouldn't last from day one anyway - but I guess they had an inkling of hope with me, that they'd never had before.

I'm in a relationship now & I've put it on Facebook (without specifying who).
That's like sunlight to a vampire for her - narcissistic injury - should probably stave away future recycling attempts.