We got mail from BPDm's lawyer

[catclaw]

Hey!

Its been a few very busy weeks for me, both emotionally and work-wise and I've now finally found the time to post here.

On the 21st of january we received fan mail. BPDm got herself a lawyer. Said lawyer wrote to dh. Obviously, BPDm claimed that ss has severe difficulties  (you don't say) that are a result of my husband having a job and thus not having time for ss. She specifically claims my husband's employment as the cause of ss' problems. Other than that, BPDm demands for ss to be sent back to live with her because she's a housewife anyway and can take care of ss' special needs.

Here's the thing:

1. When BPDm sent ss to live with us (because she needed me-time) she was a "housewife" as well.
2. Ss came to us with severe social, emotional and motoric difficulties.
3. She now has another kid and somehow thinks life will be easier with 2 kids?
4. Ss spends his mom-weekends with BPDm's boyfriend instead of her.

So, in fact, her life hasn't changed at all (except for the new baby)  and her claims are completely unfounded.
The neglect that she things is happening due to us working seems to be mirrored. She's the one who doesn't take time for ss.

Our lawyer replied ro her lawyer and dh is now going for full custody.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us...

 

[takingandsending]

catclaw,

Rooting for you and your husband but mostly for your ss. BPDm sounds a bit like my STBxw. She is a SAHM, but is currently bringing her friend (probable BF) to our house most days she has either S5 or S11 for more than 2 consecutive hours to babysit them. She is all about the me-time, figuring that she has earned it for all of the sacrifices put in when they were babies. She definitely does not see working full time as a sacrifice (but then, she has never done it for any length of time).

It is hard to watch a parent put the interest of the children that you love last and put their own needs first. We all do this at times, on some level, but it is the systematic selfishness driven by the illness that is so damaging and confusing to a kid. Honestly, as crummy as my xw can be to me, I am an adult, made choices to be with her, can understand (now) what is happening. Not the same for children.