Happy Birthday to Me

[Tattered Heart]

My birthday was this week. The morning of my birthday my uBPDh says, "Oh yeah. Happy Birthday" while he is sitting on the toilet. I asked, ":)id FB remind you?" He said "yes." I thanked him.

Later after I got home from work he said, "I got you a present," and shows me a knife that you can wear on your belt. It wasn't my first choice for a gift but I thought it was nice because he had mentioned earlier in the week that I needed a knife to carry for doing things on our farm.

But then, he continues to say, "I've always wanted a knife like this." He goes on to tell me details about it while the realization hits that the gift was really for him and not me. I feel a lump in my throat as I try to hold back tears. I stopped expecting gifts a long time ago. Special days just became reasons for him to dysregulate so these days are usually just another day.

I asked him, ":)id you really get this for you?" He said it was. I thought this would be a good opportunity to use as a teaching moment and for me to not bottle up things I want to say. I asked him to not buy himself things disguised as gifts to me. If he wants it for himself the he can buy it for himself. He responded positively to my feedback and asked, "Was that mean?" I responded, "yeah it was." He didn't apologize but I think the point was taken.

So tonight I celebrate with ice cream that I bought  for myself and tomorrow I have dinner plans with girlfriends. I don't have to let him completely steal special days from me.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[earlyL]

 I feel your pain. I had my birthday away from home and my ex and i searched throughout my bag for something from my partner, but there was nothing. She said she sent a card, but it never arrived. I got two shower gels for xmas, I have to keep reminding myself that when I am feeling sad she has gone. She was never really any good at presents but last year seemed particularly thoughtless.

Happy Birthday from all of us.

Sending love and strength.

LW

[Grey Kitty]

 

That's just so sad.

Have a silly, rude song for your birthday instead.

https://youtu.be/OzXO_5e8oO0

At least they know it is a joke!

[Naughty Nibbler]

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           HAPPY BIRTHDAY  
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TATTERED HEART:    
Sorry your partner is so insensitive.  I have a feeling your girlfriends know the right way to celebrate.  Have a good time tomorrow night.                           
            ✌♫♪˙❤‿❤˙♫♪✌

[Healthy88]

TH,

Happy Birthday!

I too, hope you have a nice time with your girlfriends.

H88

[Tattered Heart]

https://youtu.be/OzXO_5e8oO0

Hahaha That's funny