What Does Discard Look Like for You?

[Tattered Heart]

I think we are coming into the Discard phase of Idolize, Devalue, Discard with my pwBPD. I'm just curious as to what the discard phase looks like to everyone else in a committed relationship?

My H is not going to leave me. He doesn't disappear for days on end or foolishly spend money. He doesn't cheat. His discard involves him watching lots of TV or youtube videos, falling asleep early on the couch, or working extra hours. I know that the discard for many people is very painful but for me, it's what a normal relationship should be like. He isn't up my butt constantly expecting me to entertain him. He is calm and quiet. He finds his own activities and if I ask him to will engage in activities with me. If he has to work I get the house to myself for a little while. He doesn't complain if I hang out with friends or have other things outside the house going on. It's very weird and disconcerting at times because it's so rare, but this phase is very pleasant.

Maybe this says more about me than it does about him. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

At first glance,  this is looks like neglect. Though we all have our ups and downs, it seems like he's settled into a pattern.  Have you seen the silent treatment thread?

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=68733.0

ST is extremely hurtful. Maybe because there are no obvious answers.

How does it go when you ask him to engage in activities with you?

T