Is this a valid fear? If so, why?
Hello. Yes it is.
On five different occasions he has told me bluntly that he regrets our planned child's existence. He's suicidal himself and often self harms. He cannot handle stress not even a little bit he will totally flake out. For example he was babysitting his mother's dog (I was there when he was babysitting) and he slap that dog like crazy I had to intervene to stop him and you won't even believe the reason why even though there's never a good reason to hit a dog that is an extremely violent. It's because he was most likely crying because his owner (mother) wasn't there, she just left and a little puppy started to cry it wasn't even three minutes till he lost it. Besides working paying his bills and washing his clothes when he has the time he cannot handle anything else. He has no children and his family so he doesn't know how to take care of a child or is even interested on reading up on parenting books. Before I stop talking to his family members they would tell me that they would call him to check up on him they will talk about anything and he is completely into the conversation but as soon as they bring up our son they said he had a kind of a jealous vibe he would get mad and hang up the phone on them.
Around the time that I gave birth and I was home with a newborn he threatened us he completely lost it he didn't use any words but he kept on making his fist exaggerate visible. And then he said I don't want to know what's going on in his head because I will call the cops. (luckily I had a hint that something was going to go on because he's been off for a very long time so when he comes around I purposely hide all the sharp objects in the kitchen coincidentally he was in the kitchen rummaging everything then I asked for him to leave.
He told me that he hears voices in his head that tells him to do really sinister things. He draws sinister things.
I've read some stories online with women and men that had the same or similar stories as me and that they are great pathological liars and somehow one in court to keep the agreement the way it is or 50-50. And as soon as they get the child alone it turns into a murder suicide situation. That is my biggest fear cause sadly I can say the potential for that is far too high and I'm terrified.
He has told me on many occasions that he doesn't know how long he's going to love our child
I want him to be in our sons life but I'm only comfortable with supervised visitation giving everything that has happened. And his family are all enabler's or extremely afraid of him or a mixture of both.
Maybe this part isn't related to it but I remember just before he broke up with me he told me about "a great way" we can do a suicide pact, I was six months pregnant at the time.
The sad part of all these people that don't know him personally like acquaintances and new coworkers they all think that he is a perfect guy that deserves for custody. (he's even ask me if this goes to court he begged me not to mention his mental issues just in case his coworkers and whatever decides to come and support him) that's not a stable person that should have a child alone
There's a certain legal act that when you apply for a job you don't have to state your mental disabilities so he's afraid of that if it goes to court. He is only thinking about himself and I'm not shocked about that.
I am sorry for the chapter