Any thought I had about his changing is now gone

[Herodias]

I have just had the rare opportunity to look at my exes life through the his bank statements over the past 6 months... .via my lawyer (due to the lawsuit he has against me). Any thought  I had about his changing is now gone!  He is still doing everything he did with me. Everything! It is actually kind of sad and I feel a little bit badly for the new gf. I see now her life is horrible, whether she knows it or not. Unfortunately for me, I don't know where this is going to put me... .probably out thousands of dollars on his frivolous suit. It is not over yet, but I know for sure, he hasn't changed. Not one bit. As I see it, without help, it's the same life with a new person. Really sad actually. I am trying not to be too sorry for him, because he is really screwing me over as someone reminded me, but I am happy to be out and thought you all would want a little reminder. Without help- no change.

[Soulcrushed4]

I've often suprised myself at how a little part of me always seems to cling to the hope of the promised changes that never materialize at least not for any considerable thength of time.

I will know I am truly detached when their are no longer any expectations or glimmers of hope hiding anywhere because I won't be inevitably disappointed. 
That day can't come soon enough.

Even with help there can be a lack of changes as I find my ex is never in short supply of new enablers and help but seems content to simply manipulate the available resources to suit his immediate desires/purpose. It's very similar to counting clean time or a dry drunk vs someone in actual recovery.