I thought getting out would be the hardest part. I now know leaving will likely be the easiest part of this journey,
I feel sick and extremely guilty. I'm missing him. I hurt for him, for myself and for our relationship.
Staying would have been infinitely worse, than anything you will experience in the recovery process.
Do not forget that.
Please - Stay in full NC. No matter how bad you feel over the coming days.
Do you have a support system?
Have you spoken to a therapist/counsellor?