New member - sick of the turmoil

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and trying to figure out how things work (bad with technology!).

I'm a 34 year old wife and mother. My 25 year old sister was diagnosed with BPD several years ago. We have struggled along with her for a few years now but things have recently gotten VERY bad. She has become increasingly abusive towards our mother (mostly verbally/emotionally but sometimes physically).

Does anyone have any suggestions on where to start in our search for help? Her insurance doesn't cover mental health and we don't have money for counseling. We also live in a very rural area with limited resources.

Things feel slightly helpless at the moment and they seem to be getting worse quickly. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated.

[RTSibling]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and trying to figure out how things work (bad with technology!).

I'm a 34 year old wife and mother. My 25 year old sister was diagnosed with BPD several years ago. We have struggled along with her for a few years now but things have recently gotten VERY bad. She has become increasingly abusive towards our mother (mostly verbally/emotionally but sometimes physically).

Does anyone have any suggestions on where to start in our search for help? Her insurance doesn't cover mental health and we don't have money for counseling. We also live in a very rural area with limited resources.

Things feel slightly helpless at the moment and they seem to be getting worse quickly. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome RTSibling:   

I'm sorry about your sister.  It can be a challenge when you have  limited resources.  Is your sister open to try some things to better manage her behavior and emotions?

You generally want to seek help from mental health professionals, but when that isn't possible, you need to take a different path.  Most primary care doctors will prescribe antidepressant (and possibly antianxiety)  meds for their patients.

Is your sister open to some coaching from a friend or family member?  DBT is a common therapy used with people suffering from BPD and some other mental illnesses.  The first link below leads to a self-help DBT website.  The 2nd link relates to a DBT book, but makes lessons available to the public.

DBT SELF-HELP WEBSITE
www.dbtselfhelp.com

IMPROVE THE MOMENT WORKSHEET
www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/improve_the_moment_worksheet.html

PANIC LIST
www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/panic_list.html

FINDING ALTERNATE THOUGHTS
www.dbtselfhelp.com/FindingAlternativeThoughts.pdf

DBT SKILLS TRAINING
https://dbtskillstraining.wordpress.com/

[Charlie3236]

This was a duplicate post

[Charlie3236]

Hi RTSibling, so glad you reached out! We are here to help, and I'm so sorrry you are going through this with your sister and mother. It's not uncommon for pwBPD to become abusive. The fact that it's toward your aging mother is most disturbing. Is she able to care for herself and/or remove herself from danger?

Here is a good resource to help you get started on this path. Many blessings, please keep us posted.  

What If I Suspect Abuse, Neglect, or Exploitation?
https://aoa.acl.gov/AoA_Programs/Elder_Rights/EA_Prevention/WhatToDo.aspx