Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
December 11, 2024, 03:56:35 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Silently Seduced: When Parents make their children Partners  (Read 500 times)
Methuen
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1851



« on: October 14, 2024, 04:03:28 PM »

Emotional incest.  Covert Incest.  Parentification.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56242.0%3bprev_next=next

For almost 50 years of my life (not counting the first 5 which I can't remember and the last 5 ++ where I finally had my eyes opened and wished I could walk away), my relationship with my mom was pretty enmeshed.

For a long time now this hasn't been sustainable for me.  It was too painful, too complicated, and too toxic. 

When I came across this thread, it just fit. 

Wondering if anybody else can relate?

Logged
Older sister

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 23


« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2024, 10:25:09 PM »

Very much. My role was to be her confidante and counsellor from an early age, say 10? I existed to help her feel better. She would talk to me about my abusive father, in their home. I would switch into his dear daughter when he would walk through the room. Very twisted and uncomfortable. No boundaries. I colluded with her. It was the only way to get attention from her. Later I objected when she started talking about their deteriorating sex life.   I was married with three young children, on a visit from out of town, and she burst into tears and fled the room, hurt. No apologies. Even now, I will get close, and she’ll sideswipe me with a terrible revelation about my father, deceased now 5 years. I was emotionally neglected and burdened with the care of my younger siblings, and quite often, cooking and cleaning. I can’t be alone with her now, because she can still get to me, and I’m 65.
Logged
Notwendy
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 11103



« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2024, 08:33:06 AM »

I can relate but in an odd way- I was not the child enmeshed with her. My golden child sibling was. However, I was still parentified and her emotional caretaker. She also would confide in me and share TMI.

By my teens, I was useful to her- I could do household tasks. It seemed our relationship was me doing things for her. I think what is difficult for the enmeshed child is that this child experiences the "good side" but also the rest of it. I think that makes it more confusing for them. I think that one can also not be enmeshed and still experience parentification though.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!