>Where to go

[BlueSkies5]

I’ve been married for 33 years and have raised 3 kids who are now grown adults. My marriage has always had issues with my wife and how she reacts to things. My grown son suggested walking on eggshells book to me. It took me two days to read and it describes to a “t” what my life has been life. I’ve sent the 5 minute preview to my two daughters and my wife’s sister. They were all shocked at how well it described my wife. All without explaining to them why I sent it to them. I’ve read the book another 3 times. I have met with my pastor who is also the first person I’ve told outside of family. I need to figure out if she can be helped or am I going to need to move on. Hoping this will be a start for getting support for myself. I’ve tried several times to get this site to work and hope that I’ve finally gotten myself on the right path.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[LittleRedBarn]

Hi BlueSkies5

Welcome, and I'm glad you have found us here. There are lots of people here who have experienced similar journeys to yours and will be able to help. I'm also glad that you have other family members who can share what you are going through.

My immediate response to your post is to take things slowly. It can be very tempting, when we finally get that lightbulb, 'ah-ha' moment where everything makes sense, to confront our loved one with what we have discovered. The thinking goes, 'Oh, wow, that explains everything! Now that we know, we just need to get her the help she needs and everything will be okay!" Unfortunately, people with BPD rarely have the capacity to respond well to being confronted with a diagnosis. Interventions are likely to set things back, rather than move them forwards.

How did your son come across the 'Walking on Eggshells' book? Is he in therapy himself?

Are you getting any counseling or support yourself?