I'm scared jealous and tired.

[CipherNinja]

I never really come here anymore...I'm not feeling good today but i dont have anyone to talk about this with. I really just need to vent. I don't know where to start. Work has been a real drain lately I thought when i started a new career things would be better but im not so sure. today I found out my mom has cancer. I scared. What would I do without her she the one person who always stands by me. I still spend my night thinking about my ex with bpd who left me 2 years ago. Today I noticed she has a new Facebook profile picture with the guy she left me for. I just assumed that would be over by now he 10 years younger that us I really didn't think it would last specially the way she. Why couldn't it last with us. all this came at me in one day and I'm freaking out right know. I used to squeeze my dog and everything would feel alright but she past away earlier this year...I desperately need some sleep but my mind keeps racing back and forth to one upsetting thought after another.

[SinisterComplex]

I never really come here anymore...I'm not feeling good today but i dont have anyone to talk about this with. I really just need to vent. I don't know where to start. Work has been a real drain lately I thought when i started a new career things would be better but im not so sure. today I found out my mom has cancer. I scared. What would I do without her she the one person who always stands by me. I still spend my night thinking about my ex with bpd who left me 2 years ago. Today I noticed she has a new Facebook profile picture with the guy she left me for. I just assumed that would be over by now he 10 years younger that us I really didn't think it would last specially the way she. Why couldn't it last with us. all this came at me in one day and I'm freaking out right know. I used to squeeze my dog and everything would feel alright but she past away earlier this year...I desperately need some sleep but my mind keeps racing back and forth to one upsetting thought after another.

My friend...please step back and provide some kindness to yourself. Seriously. Hey my life is a colossal sh*t storm right now, but I am at peace and have more hope and fight than ever before. Why? I got rid of a huge negative and blockage that was preventing me from being happy. Sometimes that is what is necessary so you can take the next steps. Without going too into detail let me just say that yes I do get the mind racing back and forth from one upsetting thing to another. This has been one of the worst years I have ever had, perhaps the worst, but I feel like I will be ending on a high note and starting the new year fresh because I took a step that I needed to take to move forward regardless of the pain.

In addition, stop worrying about why it didn't work with you two. It didn't work out. It wasn't meant to. In that scenario it is what it is. Sure disorders can be at play but perhaps you were not compatible and when you love or care about someone that is hard to accept.

Beyond that, please vent all you need to. We are here for you.

Please be kind to you and please take care of yourself.

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-

[SnailShell]

And don't forget - not being compatible with someone can be a very good thing.

On this forum, there are a number of people who are divorcing after years together.

I'm not saying they made a mistake by marrying their partner (how would I know that?), I'm just saying -

There are plenty of people around who 'white knuckle' it with someone when things really aren't good.

And if you didn't do that - if you stood by your values, held your ground, and refused to fight to stay in something which just wasn't good for you... that's a win.

But... take this or leave this - please stop looking at her profile etc.

It was two years ago.

What she's doing is none of your business now - turn your face forwards towards the future, and be ready for an amazing girl that you just haven't met yet (and go set about meeting her)!

I know it's hard - thinking of you.

But move forward

[once removed]

I really just need to vent. I don't know where to start. Work has been a real drain lately I thought when i started a new career things would be better but im not so sure. today I found out my mom has cancer. I scared. What would I do without her she the one person who always stands by me.

thats a lot to deal with 

do you know what kind of cancer, whether its treatable?

I still spend my night thinking about my ex with bpd who left me 2 years ago. Today I noticed she has a new Facebook profile picture with the guy she left me for. I just assumed that would be over by now he 10 years younger that us I really didn't think it would last specially the way she. Why couldn't it last with us. all this came at me in one day and I'm freaking out right know.

it sounds like youre experiencing a lot of upheaval in your life. it makes sense that your mind would go to your ex - at one time, i presume, a source of comfort and support. it also makes sense that in the midst of all of that, youd compare your life now to your life then, or your life now to hers...its easy to do when we feel low.

i dont have anyone to talk about this with

why not?