Back again.

[townhouse]

Thanks to this marvellous forum for being here to enable me to vent my frustrations. Well it’s terrible again with my BPD H.

It started heating up about 6 weeks ago when I wanted to have a family get together with my family.  DH took offence that I wasn’t inviting his daughter. He made his point loudly and insultingly. So I invited his daughter. She did not get in touch and did not turn up on the day and in fact has not been in touch with her father for 2 months. This daughter is the one my H has given all his money to.

H started punishing me after the inviting daughter discussion by withdrawing, hardly speaking. He was just starting to thaw and talk at me again / lecture me about the terrible state of the world when I got sick with a nasty stomach bug picked up from my young grandchildren.

He looked after me from his point of view. Not asking what I wanted but just doing what he thought best. I recovered although quite weak. I made the mistake of asking could he drive me to see grandchild and he took this as an affront to his time and because  he doesn’t like my son or his wife it was bad that I asked. I’m fine now and driving again but I’ve been put in the bin again.

Just a couple of days ago he came down with the same stomach bug I had. He has completely turned against me. Shouting at me. Saying horrible things and won’t let me do anything for him but saying I don’t care about him. The first thing I did was make available apple sauce, bread for toast, rice, doing his washing etc. He is completely stonewalling me and of course blames me for him getting sick.

I am at my wits end and have taken to just ignoring him which feels bad from my point of view because he is sick.

[Bara]

I'm sorry to hear what you are having to go through. Stay true to yourself and don't let the other person cause you to act outside your values.
You are not alone.