My fiancee struggles with BPD. How can I help

[LostDreamer93]

Hey, I'm really new to all of this. I've been engaged to my partner for about 3 months now. Recently she has gone through a move. Has a fairly rough family life. And we are long distance at the moment. She doesn't usually get angry. Mostly just indifferent when it hits. But this most recent moment. As of three days ago. She has been very pessimistic towards our relationship. Towards herself and her family. But never directly towards me. Can I help at all? Is there anything I can do to make it easier? I'm struggling with the silence and just want to help her feel loved. Like I won't leave

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

can you tell us more about whats going on?

what is she pessimistic about? how is she expressing this to you?

it could be the ordinary stresses of a marriage (which can take a toll on anyone, but people with bpd especially dont handle stress well). it could be that shes just confiding in you. it could be deeper fears and inadequacies more related to bpd.

its hard to say without knowing more. it may be that she just needs you to listen.