Hallo BPD Family - hoping to feel less alone!

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi Everyone, I have just found BPD Family and registered. Phew!

My significant other is intelligent, charming, likes to laugh and is well-respected in their professional life. They have also experienced episodes of risky and rageful behaviour since I have known them.

I thought for a long time that it was something I was doing and worked hard on myself. After lots of research and reading and some 1 to 1 counselling, I gained the painful insight that my partner is probably exhibiting BPD traits (unconventional). There may also be some narcissistic traits but I am less sure of this.

Recent events have shown me that my partner's episodes have affected our teenage son's confidence and wellbeing, as well as my own. I can accept the effect on me to some extent - I chose this relationship and am doing my best to stay in it - the impact on our son however is a different matter. After all, he did not choose his relationship.

I am feeling disloyal in posting this but am at the point where I need help and support. My partner is externally persuasive, charming and skilled at masking; 15 months of relationship counselling only seemed to result in validating their anger - I have recently been accused by them of inventing a "narrative of violence" - and identifying my "freeze" response and sensitivity as the problem.

I want to "stop walking on eggshells" and tell my truth. Any thoughts, resources or insights welcome!

[LuvMyCats]

Hi Everyone, I have just found BPD Family and registered. Phew!

My significant other is intelligent, charming, likes to laugh and is well-respected in their professional life. They have also experienced episodes of risky and rageful behaviour since I have known them.

I thought for a long time that it was something I was doing and worked hard on myself. After lots of research and reading and some 1 to 1 counselling, I gained the painful insight that my partner is probably exhibiting BPD traits (unconventional). There may also be some narcissistic traits but I am less sure of this.

Recent events have shown me that my partner's episodes have affected our teenage son's confidence and wellbeing, as well as my own. I can accept the effect on me to some extent - I chose this relationship and am doing my best to stay in it - the impact on our son however is a different matter. After all, he did not choose his relationship.

I am feeling disloyal in posting this but am at the point where I need help and support. My partner is externally persuasive, charming and skilled at masking; 15 months of relationship counselling only seemed to result in validating their anger - I have recently been accused by them of inventing a "narrative of violence" - and identifying my "freeze" response and sensitivity as the problem.

I want to "stop walking on eggshells" and tell my truth. Any thoughts, resources or insights welcome!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MindfulBreath]

Have you read "Stop Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist"? It's an amazing resource.

I'm so sorry you are being gaslit. You are not alone!