Update from last post, basically we went about 2 months no contact from the last post, she ended things with the other guy, I ended up moving on from her to put myself first. Long story short we ended up talking again and I was very hesitant at first from how hurt I was but ended up trying things again, it went on for a few months, nearing the end we kind of stopped talking. I started to work on myself once again, completely ignoring her presence, we stop talking for about a week. On instagram she posted she was at a party and there was a group photo with the same guy from the first post standing next to her, i was pissed but at the same time couldn’t care what she was doing, the day after, sunday morning she decides to call me. She says that she doesn’t know if im mad because of him being next to her, but she assured me that she never kissed him or anything and apparently he asked her to sleepover with her friend but she said no, we talk for about 2 weeks until we decide to get back together, she promises that this time will be different and she will change her ways. I take her out for lunch, officially ask her to be my gf again, things are all good and well, we go back to my place and she ends up going to the bathroom.
I get an off feeling so I go on her phone and what do i see, there are photos of her kissing this guy and one where he is laying in bed with her and her friend. I start to freak out and when she comes in the room i dont say a word to her as i am in shock, we basically both start crying, she starts explaining that she was being blackmailed because apparently a lot of people think he is gay and he wanted proof that he isnt or some bull
PLEASE READ like that. After arguing and almost crying for 4hrs we calm down and decide to work things out, she gave me her account password and everything. We start dating again, this time It has been the best it ever has, she seems perfect, she has changed her ways, dropped her barrier that was always up, being honest, genuinely being a good girlfriend. Me, i am still hesitant and worried things will end in a few months, because of this i am only putting in about 60-70% of effort meanwhile she is putting in 110%. This goes on for a few months and she is starting to get tired of me not putting in my all. And not properly listening to her needs, and i will admit i can often get very defensive instead of properly listening to her. So she tries to communicate the whole effort thing a few times, i dont properly listening to her and then eventually after about 2 and a half months she becomes distant. I have an anxious attatchment style so when she gets distant i push even harder, i think she has an avoidant attatchment style, the more i push the more she pulls away, i dont want to put in too much effort because i know she will feel smothered and pull away, its just disappointing because the barrier i tried for so long to get her to put down, she is putting back up, I went away for holiday for 10 days which made everything worse as the distance can put strain on a relationship (From today as of right now we havent seen each other in about 2 weeks).
When i got back it was her birthday in a few days and she was busy with friends and said i couldn’t see her, after her birthday i made a reservation for her at her favorite restaurant and tried to make it really special for her. In the morning i messeged her to remember to bring nice clothes as i am taking her out and she pretty much stood me up (this was yesterday) she just made
PLEASE READty excuses, She said that she forgot it was today and that it makes no sense because we’ve been fighting and now im taking her out and spending the day with her. I sent a voice note explaining things haven’t been good between us and we’ve been fighting and i thought today we could finally talk things through and have a good time together, she said she has family coming over or some excuse like that. I left her on read, i was very upset to be honest. We haven’t talked since yesterday morning. I feel lost I don’t know what I should do whether to give her space until she decides to come back and talk. I really do love this girl and we’ve been through so much, things were really good with us this time, better than it’s ever been, until all of this. I dont want the cycle to repeat, she said i drove her to this point and she still cares but she doesn’t want this relationship as bad as she wanted it in the start and says its my fault because I drove her to this point. Please give advice on what I should do or what I should say to her, or if i should just give her space, thank you.
