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Skills we were never taught
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A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
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Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: What do you think?  (Read 344 times)
tomas125cz

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 8


« on: February 18, 2025, 01:17:40 PM »

Hello everyone, i would like to hear what do you think about this.

Her (26) – Has a child, diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), had 6 relationships in the past 1.5 years (longest lasted 3 months). Before that, she was with her child’s father for 6 years.
Him (30) – Was in an 8-year relationship before and cheated on his ex. From what I’ve seen, he’s pretty jealous and possessive.

What’s happening:

They’ve been together for 3 months, known each other for 4 months.
Since the beginning, she’s wanted to have a baby with him.
He’s moving in with her next month.
She says she might marry him but is already considering a prenup.
She’s afraid he’s only with her for money – apparently, he gets mad when she spends her own money.
She paid for their flight to London.
She claims their relationship is “amazing” because they never argue – but she also cries every day when he’s not there.
In the past 2 weeks, she’s searched for her ex and her current boyfriend on Facebook 4 times.
Weird things about him:

He sent me a picture of two people having sex – with the girl labeled "your crush" and the guy labeled "not you" (seemed like provocation).
On a Discord server, someone posted nude pictures of three girls, and he commented:
"First one is top
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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

tomas125cz

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 8


« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2025, 01:48:43 PM »

sorry its not full, here it continues:

, second one is too pale, third one is boring, 1st is top, both color and p*y
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tomas125cz

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 8


« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2025, 01:51:09 PM »

I maybe used some bad words in continue so it cleared here are questions:

Does this relationship have any chance of lasting?
If this guy is toxic and controlling, why doesn’t she realize it?
Would you consider his behavior as cheating?

Looking forward to your opinions! Thanks!
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Notwendy
********
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 11392



« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2025, 03:54:20 PM »

I think this is an "uneven" friendship. You have feelings for her. She has you as a "friend" to meet her emotional need of some sorts while she also seeks out this man for her romantic needs. This works for her.

It's not working for you- you are the one who is being the loyal friend, waiting, perhaps hoping for her to have feelings for you, but she isn't reciprocating the loyalty or your kind treatment of her.

Her behavior is hurtful to you but- as long as you tolerate this and keep being her friend, she has no reason to treat you any differently. This guy she's with did something disrespectful and mean too by sending that picture.

We can't control someone else's feelings and behavior but we can decide how we want to be treated. Those two will do what they want to do. The question is- what do you want to do?
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