They will treat as nothing if you givem them control?

[noideaforname]

If you try to get back together and open your feelings they feel power and just don't care for you?
They will only note you again when you show that you don't care?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

If I understand your questions correctly, not necessarily.

A lot of what happens depends as much on what the non does and allows as it does the pwBPD. It takes two to fight. If the non chooses to not engage in a fight, there can be no fight.

It can depend on how the non chooses to show that he/she cares also. When I first got here, I thought that it was good that I showed how much I cared for my x by doing everything for her so that she wouldn't feel stressed and would be happy. That was the wrong thing to do. I had to learn to show her that I cared in a different way; one that was not damaging to me and did not allow her to use it against me.

Also, it isn't about showing them that you don't care, it's about setting your boundaries to protect yourself and your core values. That isn't about them at all, it's about us.

Does that make sense?

[noideaforname]

but i mean like... .
after my ex painted me black... .everytime i tried to get back together everything i said was used against me saying that i should have done those things while we were together.
no matter what i said... .as long as showed feelings she was showing nothing and saying she couldn't do anything because she has no feelings for me.