SET success

[In4thewin]

Today I used SET for the first time, and it worked like a charm. When I think about it, it's pretty much the way I should have been communicating all along. The issue was about the family dog spending the night at my daughter's new apartment that doesn't allow pets. She texted and said " I want ---- tonight". Now, This could have gone sideways because the matter came up yesterday, and when I immediately responded with something that started with a  "no", things escalated. So, today I used SET by texting my daughter back saying "I know. I want to help figure out a workable solution". I then empathized and told her that I know she misses him and I do too even when I'm away for just a couple days. Then I (think) I used the truth element correctly by reminding her that lease doesn't allow pets and I offered that perhaps she could take the dog for a walk tomorrow afternoon and then take him to her apartment for a couple hours during the day--- that way he's be more like visitor and not spending the night. Her response? "OK". This is a very small dog and I'm not entirely sure what the landlords would think about this, but I'm considering this a success. I'm going to keep working on SET and resisting JADE---which I have a bad habit of doing and isn't productive. Thank you!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[once removed]

nicely done!

of the communication techniques, SET is probably the hardest to get right, and takes the most practice to become natural at (whereas BIFF is fairly simple).

the most common mistake we tend to make, when learning, is a weak empathy statement that is easy to see through, followed by "our truth" (not an objective truth, like, for example, the one you gave), which taken in full, is totally invalidating.

keep up the good work!

[Resiliant]

   I love it!