So relieved to have found this site!

[Lynda LB]

My daughter was diagnosed BPD a couple years ago. But recently after some heave trauma for her (a friends suicide and a rape etc.) her BPD has exploded — and I think that is proof that at the core of BPD lies trauma.

She has managed to convince done family members that I am abusive and manipulative — which is just not true.

I recently read the link post called “Why BPD daughters hate their mothers” — and I wept… my daughter has a psychology undergrad degree and has convinced done family that I am abusive, neurotic, and recently psychotic — in addition to claiming that I AM BORDERLINE! What a head spinning hell this has been!

Thank god I see a therapist who explained projection to me and how it is a defense mechanism for my daughter. So much of what she accuses me of — are in actuality — truths about herself…


I am SO happy to have found this site… as I said… I am weeping to finally not feel SO alone!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[CC43]

Hi there, what your daughter is saying sounds like projection to me. She’s describing herself, not you, because she’s in a negative thinking loop. Surely she is suffering right now, and she’s taking it out on you.

Please take care of yourself. BPD is treatable, provided that your daughter wants to make changes to feel better. If she’s fixated on blaming others for all her problems, she remains resistant to change.

I’d invite you to read the boards, to see you’re not alone, and that many of the issues and feelings are common ones.