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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Feedback  (Read 383 times)
hope2000

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 22


« on: February 10, 2017, 05:17:09 AM »

Hi every one. Some feedback would be appreciated. Before my exBPD left me she was openly flirting with her mother and the mother's ex lesbian partner. We were married for over 20 years. Has anyone experienced this ?
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heartandwhole
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3592



« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2017, 06:16:50 AM »

Hi hope2000,

I haven't experienced anything like that, although I was told by pwBPD that his mother's behavior toward him was inappropriately flirtatious.

How do things stand in your relationship now that you've been divorced a while?

heartandwhole
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When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul.
hope2000

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 22


« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2017, 09:40:24 AM »

[quote author=heartandwhole link=topic=306003.msg12845077#msg12845077
Hi heart and whole

Thank you for the feedback.

I've decided to limit contacts with my ex BPD wife to births of grandchildren and their parties and our children's wedding. Even then the communication is brief and limited to hello. I actually feels physical ill if communication are beyond that. My psychologist said that I've PTSD from the dysfunctional marriage. My emotions react even to the mention of her name. My children understand my decision because they are now young adults and they too are limiting their contacts with her.

This is the boundary I set with her to avoid conflicts. I function well with this boundary. I received a written note from her not long ago asking me to include her in some family functions but I just ignored it.

PS. I'm relief to hear that there is another example of flirtatious behaviour of a mother towards pwDPD. My ex mother in law and her ex lesbian partner were also inappropriately flirtatious towards me .

Thanks for reading my post.

Hope 2000




date=1486815410]
Hi hope2000,

I haven't experienced anything like that, although I eas told by pwBPD that his mother's behavior toward him was inappropriately flirtatious.

How do things stand in your relationship now that you've been divorced a while?

heartandwhole

[/quote]
Quote from: hope2000link=topic=306003.msg12844812#msg12844812 date=1486725429
Hi every one. Some feedback would be appreciated. Before my exBPD left me she was openly flirting with her mother and the mother's ex lesbian partner. We were married for over 20 years. Has anyone experienced this ?
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