What makes me so different that I get treated so different then everyone else?
Hey Joe, and welcome to the family!
The dynamic you're describing is the hallmarks of BPD and what it's like to struggle with disordered thinking. You're looking at this logically, like she's thought everything out, made responsible decisions at every turn, and arrived at a sound conclusion. That's not at all what happened though in her mind- she doesn't think that way when she's emotionally off-balance.
She did (and does) love you. She did trust you. But she felt that the trust was betrayed and the more she examined it, the more she came to conclusions that 1 + 1 = 7. The bike photo, for example, she believed that you posted it specifically to harm her.
That's disordered thinking, and from that illogical assumption, she ends up reaching out, spending the night, etc. When things went well she allowed herself to feel all the great stuff she used to feel for you, but once she had time alone and got into her feelings, she convinced herself that it was all a lie or a trick. So she reacted in a way that she thought was appropriate- she just blew everything up and ran.
This is pretty much everyone's story that posts in the relationship forums- we're experienced this once or many times with BPD partners. And it happens in cycles where the BPD continues to re-evaluate their actions and tries to reconnect, only to sabotage things all over again at the first sign of instability. It's likely nothing you did either, because it all stems from mental illness and emotionally-charged thoughts that lead to illogical conclusions (like 1+1 = 7).
I hope that helps and I feel for you...please feel free to talk this out while you're processing things.
