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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Still Moments of Hurt  (Read 229 times)
SnailShell
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 119


« on: May 02, 2025, 02:38:02 PM »

I've felt SO much better after my break up last year.

I'm *basically* entirely over it.

I realised something recently: time and distance isn't the only thing needed to move on, it's also proper conceptualisation - I really had to see the facts of the relationship to know that I absolutely didn't want that.

I was at a wedding in my ex's state yesterday - it's a way more religious state than my own, which some people would hate - but I'm a Christian so I guess I feel more at home with it.

There's a lot of good looking Christian girls around who aren't with anyone yet and I met a couple at the wedding...

I came away feeling pretty full, and happy - content, y'know?

It's been SUCH tiring season for me though - with a ton of transience.

When I woke up this morning to leave that state (and her city), I just felt so sad about it.

For a Christian guy, marrying a real nice young woman who prioritises her faith, cares about people, and who lives with (I guess) kind of 'old fashioned' values or whatever is probably kind of a dream.

And my BPD ex presented herself *exactly* that way.

And then the front door of the house would close and a different side would come out...

I believe my BPD ex is genuinely committed to her faith... but that sort of subject can be kind of complex sometimes, and a bit confusing.

It's just - after an emotionally heightened event like a wedding, when I've had a few beers, not slept much, and had a dance or two with a couple of girls that I liked... maybe it just stirred my emotions up.

And seeing that city melt away from a different angle kind of reminded me of what I loved about being there - and that tied in with her too.

Finally, I was also on the mode of transport where her CSA took place (which I won't say anything more about), and it's the first time I've taken that route - it reminded me of her all over again.

I don't think this is some kind of relapse.

I think I'm just tired, a bit lonely, emotionally stirred up, and it's come back to her.

But I sure do wish that I had a nice, calmer girl with me now - maybe it'd make things easier.

Then again, in general, I have the attitude that I'll do all I can to flourish in my life - whether single or in a relationship, and I think I must be feeling this way for other reasons.

It's a little discouraging, because I'd basically forgotten her and thought I'd never be on another BPD forum as long as I shall live!

But today I guess I just needed to type this somewhere where people might understand.

Thanks everyone Smiling (click to insert in post)
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