Many thank to my online family here !

[Tangled mangled]

I’m divorced at long last. It’s taken almost 3 years since I filed.

I arrived here over 2 years ago. A broken woman with very few words to describe my brokenness. I was lost, hopeless and very close to giving up on living. I was really close to that never ending dark tunnel where some have gone and never returned.

I didn’t have any support, apart from the help from services such as DV charities and my medical school ( I was a student) .

I had endured years of emotional abuse from my family of origin but it wasn’t until my bpd ex husband tried to ch0ke that it all became apparent what my whole life had been about.

This board gave me the words to describe what I was going through because I was dead inside- how does a lifeless body describe its experience with death.

The stories and accounts of abusive partners here were my story too. So similar to the point where I used other people’s experiences to predict what the future held for me.

My ex accrued £20k in mortgage arrears by the time our family home was sold. He did this because I receive child maintenance for our two children who live with me full time. My solicitor messed things up for me, and I didn’t check things before signing-meaning I didn’t get to deduct the arrears from his share in the equity in our family home. After all is said and done I I still got a substantial settlement perhaps less by a few tens of thousands. But I am free.

Thankfully it was a mortgage in his name and he would have ruined his chances of buying a home. I don’t see how any bank in the future would grant a mortgage to someone who owed 20 months of mortgage arrears.’ BPD miracle’s do happen but I await the drama unfolding. Hallelujah it’s not my problem anymore. I’m a free woman.

I just want to say thank you to everyone here who supported me to name a few: NotWendy, ForeverDad, Kells76, SaltyDawg, Pook75.
It’s very much appreciated. Thank you

[CC43]

I'm so glad for the positive outcome, but especially for putting a end to that chapter of your life, and starting a new, more hopeful one.  Even if you experience some setbacks, your positive frame of mind will see you through.  If you overcame your past trauma, you can handle just about anything I suspect.  Thanks for sharing, it's nice to read uplifting stories here.

[Tangled mangled]

I'm so glad for the positive outcome, but especially for putting a end to that chapter of your life, and starting a new, more hopeful one.  Even if you experience some setbacks, your positive frame of mind will see you through.  If you overcame your past trauma, you can handle just about anything I suspect.  Thanks for sharing, it's nice to read uplifting stories here.

Thank you CC43,
You have been very kind and generous with encouraging words and helpful advice on this board. I remember you shared your sister’s experience with a bpd ex husband and the impact on your nephews. It really helped to know that I wasn’t alone.

Thank you

[CC43]

Thanks Tangled. Indeed the story with my sister’s divorce from an undiagnosed (and very low functioning) NPD had a good outcome. Though it took almost six years, the divorce went to trial and my sister got what she asked for:  an ability to move out of state, a financial settlement and supervised visitation only, plus her ex is not allowed to drive the kids in a car ever again. He was found to be in contempt of court. The system finally saw through all his lies and ruses. Though the whole ordeal was very hard on the family, the general mood is much more positive now, and they are making plans for a happier future.

[Notwendy]

I am so happy for you that you have accomplished this! It shows a lot of personal strength on your part. I wish you the best in this next step towards a better future.

[Tangled mangled]

Thanks Tangled. Indeed the story with my sister’s divorce from an undiagnosed (and very low functioning) NPD had a good outcome. Though it took almost six years, the divorce went to trial and my sister got what she asked for:  an ability to move out of state, a financial settlement and supervised visitation only, plus her ex is not allowed to drive the kids in a car ever again. He was found to be in contempt of court. The system finally saw through all his lies and ruses. Though the whole ordeal was very hard on the family, the general mood is much more positive now, and they are making plans for a happier future.

CC43,
I’m glad things worked out for your sister and her children. It really helps when courts wake up and call off the BS. Atleast your sister will be relieved that any risk of harm can be reduced.

[Tangled mangled]

I am so happy for you that you have accomplished this! It shows a lot of personal strength on your part. I wish you the best in this next step towards a better future.

NW,

In many ways I saw a lot of the things you shared about your mum in my ex. The way he went about trying to get the family home repossessed was similar to what you shared. Although in your case she was hurting her self only but in many ways she was hurting you too because if she had ended up homeless it would have rested on your shoulders to house her.

My ex was mercilessly wasting the funds in the equity and it really hurt that I couldn’t do anything about it as the mortgage was only in his name. At one point I offered to save the property by offering some money to the bank but a lady in the bank advised against it after she heard the history of abuse.

It’s unbelievable the lengths a pwbpd would go to hurt those around them. I often wonder if my ex had more than bpd perhaps psychopathy.

Looking back I noticed my mum too has no mercy in the way she spends money and in the past I had given her access to my funds only for her to waste and to demand that I spend money I couldn’t afford.
I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with my ex or my mum anymore.
My task now is raising my children to understand that their dad is mentally ill. In many ways the children are already figuring things out themselves.

[kells76]

Thank you for coming back and updating us! Always nice to hear from members after a while.

I hope you and the kids have some positive and relaxing things to look forward to in your future!

[SinisterComplex]

Congrats, but more than anything we thank you for coming back and sharing the update and the nice words.

Cheers and Best Wishes to you!

-SC-